It's Never Too Late for This

Over the last week, I took a dip into the pools of fear, self-judgment, and mental agony. 

It's funny how after years of being on the path to self-mastery, I still fall flat on my face sometimes!

Besides being a lesson in humility, it's a lesson in deepening my awareness and working the muscles of living intentionally.

My go-to reaction to these “flare-ups,” as I call them, is to RESIST.

My resistance takes the form of the following thoughts (thoughts in the conscious mind and thoughts I'm embodying):

• This shouldn't be happening.

• I should be beyond this.

• I'm not transformed enough.

• I'm too weak.

• This is too much.

• I don't know what to do.

• Etc.

Pushing as hard as I can against a solid wall is exhausting! A wall is only standing there, and without me pushing against it, there’s no energy needed from me.

Likewise, the emotional and mental challenges that arise for me, the ones that I still sometimes resist, don't require any energy from me to manage as long as I don't push up against them.

This time around, as is usually the case, the feelings and experience began to shift for me the moment I authentically said, "Thank you. Thank you for the gift you’re here to give. I don’t yet see what the gift is, but I know you’re here to give me one."

It shifts for me when I authentically say, "Thank you, I love you." And I say it repeatedly.

What I most want in my life is to experience and live from being unconditionally in love with all of life. So the moment I stop resisting and instead turn towards the feeling, thinking, or sensation with gratitude, love, and interest, everything begins to shift.

This post is a reminder to future me - a reminder to turn towards my experiences in life with gratitude and love, even when life seems really hard. That’s my access to creating miracles.

It’s never too late to turn towards my feelings with gratitude and love.

It’s never too late to turn towards my thinking with gratitude and love.

It’s never too late to turn towards my body with gratitude and love.

It’s never too late to turn towards peace.

It’s never too late to turn towards love.

It’s never too late to turn towards curiosity. 

It’s never too late to say, “I’m sorry.”

It’s never too late to say, “Thank you.”

It’s never too late to say, “I love you.”

It’s never too late to awaken gratitude for anything. 

It’s never too late to take action consistent with what I really want.

It’s never too late to turn, with love, towards anything.

Much Love. ❤️

The Foundational and Not-So-Obvious Question

When caught in worried thinking…

When stuck in fear…

When circling in a loop of judgment or frustration or anger…

When struggling to articulate yourself...

What do you want?

It’s a simple, foundational question that occurs as obvious only after it’s been asked.

In your job…

In your relationship…

In your routines…

What do you want want?

Many (most? all?) of our behaviors and reactions are unconscious, default behaviors and reactions. This question - What do you want? - brings the Self a bit more present, and it invites us to think and make a choice.

Do you even know what you really want? 

Many of us don’t, and that’s okay. But this question is foundational. If we live life not asking it of ourselves (or not being asked by someone who’s really interested in the answer), we may find we’ve lived a life we didn’t really want but never felt like we had a choice. 

So here’s your opportunity: what do you really want?

What do you want for yourself as a consistent and reliable feeling in your life?

What do you want for the people you care about?

Sometimes when I ask this question, “What do you really want?”, people will tell me what they don’t want. That’s a great place to start, but it doesn’t answer the question!

Answer that question! What do you really want? Don’t worry about the why or the how yet. Just hang with the what of it.

I was just walking the dog and processing some anxiety that subtly arose within me like a nighttime fog. The default for me is to figure out how NOT to feel that way.

What I want, though, is something else entirely: it’s to unconditionally love this miraculous gift of experiencing life - including fear and anxiety. So instead of resisting the anxiety/fear, I welcomed it in as an opportunity to practice unconditional love. That’s what I really wanted, and it turned my resistance into curiosity and wonder. 

I’ve begun a practice of asking myself each morning, “What do I truly want?” For me, it’s a practice in allowing authentic, inspired desire to grow within me. As I’ve become more willing to sit with the question and allow my mind to go where it wants in answering the question, I’ve awakened to some powerful insights. 

You there, reader! Ask yourself this question: “What do you want?”

Then go a little deeper and ask yourself this one: “What do you really want?”

Much Love. ❤️

Create Before It Exists

In the Bible, there’s a story near the end of the life of Jesus that has been inspiring me lately.

Jesus was nailed to the cross and was hanging. He looked at the soldiers who put him there, and he looked at the gathered crowd, and he said, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

I imagine the cross was previously lying on the ground with Jesus upon it, while a soldier hammered nails into his hands/wrists. And I imagine that Jesus, an enlightened being, looked upon the soldier not with hate, but with forgiveness, compassion, and love.

Somewhere inside each of us, we know that living a life of blame, resentment, frustration, anger, hostility, and cynicism in any way lacks integrity. Some part of us, perhaps well-hidden for many of us, sees that it’s inauthentic and a resignation to live at the effect of our circumstances to the extent that most of us do.

“You are not a victim of the world you see."

- A Course in Miracles and The Way of Mastery

Blame. Resentment. Frustration. Anger. Hostility. Cynicism.

These emotions come from being a victim of the world we see. They’re a defensive reaction to a circumstance (and world) that looks dangerous.

Our inclination to be a victim isn’t wrong. It’s natural, and it’s a habit. And being a habit, we can break it.

Living life in reaction to our circumstances = living life as a victim to our circumstances.

When we are being a victim of the world we see, it’s “the world” that seems to cause these emotions in us - other people, the weather, politics, the body, the past, the psyche. 

That includes our internal circumstances…

Guilt. Shame. Resignation. Insecurity. Fear.

Yes, those are the emotions of a victim of the world too. They’re the emotions of a victim of the inner world.

Being a victim of the world is being a victim of our own judgments. 

This is powerful and subtle! I’ve felt and seen the impact this truth can have on our lives.

What do you see when you look at your life? 

What do you see when you look at your family? 

What do you see when you look at your friends?

What do you see when you look at politics?

What do you see when you look at the state of the world?

It’s NOT what we look at that matters! What matters is what we see when we look at it. And we have much more agency over what we see than we might think.

What we see is determined by who we're being.

Being a victim of the world we see comes from being judgmental. When we’re judgmental, we’re being hostile, and we condemn and attack what we look at - whether we’re looking at others or ourselves.

From a judgmental way of being, I see problems. I see things I like and things I don’t like. I see nice people and mean people. I see comfort and discomfort. I see success and failure. I see waste and excess. I see abundance and lack. 

When I am intentionally being that this moment is beautiful and perfect, everything shows up as beautiful and perfect.

What we see is a reflection of our own being. We are not seeing the world as it is.

So what can we do about this? 

First, we can get responsible for how we’ve been (unintentionally and unconsciously) being and seeing.

Second, we can begin to intentionally create how we are being and how we are committed to seeing the world.

Daily my mind gets blown by the experience of these truths. The path to mastery is a mountain without a top.

Create before it exists.

Lead before it goes astray.

A tree too big to embrace is born from a slender shoot.

A nine-story tower rises from a pile of earth.

A thousand-mile journey begins with a single step.

- The Tao Te Ching

Much Love. ❤️