Peel off the Tape

Do you ever ignore the dashboard lights in your car that tell you when something is wrong or needs maintenance? Perhaps your tire pressure is low, it’s time for an oil change, or the check engine light comes on.

If we don’t deal with it, our minds acclimate to the dashboard indicators after a little while, and other times we outright avoid them. It’s as if we’ve put tape over the signal so we no longer have to see it.

We also do this frequently in our lives.

Each time we sell out on our own commitments, our own inner wisdom, our own integrity, our own sense of what’s good and true for us, others, and the world, we’re training ourselves to ignore our internal signals.

When we say "yes" to something when we really mean "no."

When we say "no" to inspiration because we're afraid of looking bad.

When we gossip or complain or otherwise dishonor another.

When we break a promise to ourselves or someone else.

When we take a habitual action that we know isn’t good for us.

When we distract ourselves instead of sitting with discomfort.

When we indulge instead of allowing urges and impulses to dissipate on their own.

Many of us have gotten trained by family, friends, school, and culture to ignore the whispers of truth and integrity speaking to us.

It doesn't matter who it was that originally trained us: it's now on us how we show up.

It just seems so inconvenient sometimes to deal with those indicator lights, doesn’t it??

And yet…ignoring that inner whisper is ultimately unhealthy - physically, emotionally, mentally, and/or spiritually - for us and others.

The more we learn to relate bravely, compassionately, and generously with ALL parts of ourselves, the more alignment we experience at all levels of our being - and the more in tune our own Spirit becomes with the Divine Source of Everything.

Breaking through to a life of Truth, Beauty, and Good isn't always straightforward or easy. That's why I support people through self-mastery coaching.

There’s something magical - and transformational - in participating in intentional conversation with someone listening to us cleanly. They hear the things behind what we’re saying. They ask the kinds of questions that bring to the surface those underlying and covered up truths that we’ve become so used to ignoring. They see the light peeking out from behind the tape, even when we’ve trained ourselves not to notice any longer.

Peel the tape off. Respond to the indicator lights. Live in alignment, in harmony, in integrity.

No, this doesn't mean stress out and worry about getting it right. It means take intentional action in ways that honor the Divine Spark within you.

I promise, it won't hurt, and it may just relieve a bit of your suffering.

With Love. 🙏❤️

This Is Controversial

Today I gave a talk at school for Earth Day. At the end, I said something controversial.

When most of us get a scratch on our arm, we don't have to worry whether it will heal or not. We don’t have to get stressed, anxious, or desperate for it to heal. We don’t have to coax it to heal.

Our arm will heal on its own - we simply need to foster its healing by creating healing conditions (keeping it clean, giving it air, avoiding poking it).

Similarly, if we stop polluting it and poking it, the environment will heal itself.

The controversial statement I said today:

If we live with integrity, in honor of our true values, the environment will handle itself.

In other words: Don’t worry about the environment. Live your most authentic life.

So many of us, individually and collectively, live lives in search of “someday” when we’ll finally get exactly what we’re looking for and then get to relax in well-being, happiness, and peace. 

Our values aren’t about “someday.” They’re about right now. 

Our values aren’t about what results we produce. They’re about how we’re being.

Our values aren’t about the surface-level at all. They touch us to the core.

Our values aren’t personal. They include ourselves, for sure, and they also include EVERYONE else (non-human life too).

If what we think are our values don’t meet those criteria, then we haven’t gone deep enough.

And it doesn’t take much to go deeper. There’s a simple question that helps us get there: “Why?”

“I value free time.” Why? 

“I value creativity.” Why?

“I value friendship and family.” Why?

“I value following the rules.” Why?

“I value feeling good.” Why?

Ask that question until you can't get any deeper. (It works.)

It's because our values include us and others that the environment will take care of itself once we live with integrity, in honor of our values. 

(Integrity is aligning all levels of our being - our body, mind, heart, behaviors, and relationships - with our values.) 

It’ll be a cleaner, healthier, freer world for all life as we do.

“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change...This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.” - Gandhi.

Thanks so much for reading. ❤️

Attack

His jaw literally dropped. He was speechless.

We were a few hours into last week’s Mind Mastery Experience, and this participant saw something he'd never seen before.

He wants friendships and community, but he wasn’t being real with people. His default behavior was exactly what was preventing him from getting what he wanted.

We want love in our marriages, but we continue to get defensive and blame the other.

We want collaboration in our workplaces, but we gossip and complain. 

We want health and well-being, but we binge junk food and media.

We want authentic relationships, but we people-please.

This part is obvious: our actions are often opposed to our values and work against them. 

Less obvious: our actions are opposed to our values because at some level we think they’ll help. (They don’t.)

When all is calm and quiet in the village, we sit around at ease, laughing, chatting, and eating. When the intruder alarm goes off, however, many of us feel a momentary vulnerability and fear that quickly transmutes into adrenaline-fueled defensiveness. We grab our swords and then rush to the village border and attack our intruders.

It’s one thing if our village is being attacked, it’s another thing if our spouse talks to us unkindly, our boss isn't being transparent, or we have a commitment that we don't feel like honoring. 

We justify our anger, our inauthenticity, and our habitual avoidance by speaking about them as defenses. But they’re more than defense. They’re offense. They're an attack. We're attacking others and we're attacking ourselves, subconsciously looking to inflict harm.

We attack our spouses. We attack our kids. We attack our neighbors. We attack our bodies and we attack our minds. And then we inaccurately justify it as self-defense.

Now, dear reader, you might be thinking, “Yes. I know that I’m the one preventing myself from getting what I’m looking for. This isn’t new!” If this is you, I have good news.

We've got a bad habit that keeps us stuck. It's a habit of mind and we can change it.

It's a habit of judging everything. This is one of the habitual behaviors that prevent you (and me) from getting what we really want. 

The mind has no will of its own. Judgments have no will of their own. We are the ones with a will to apply, and where we apply our will makes ALL the difference.

So let the judgment and analysis machine do its thing - and you do your thing. Intentionally. Compassionately. Forgivingly. Lovingly. Unconditionally.

If you want peace, cultivate peace. If you want love, cultivate love. If you want friends, cultivate friendship. And cultivate all those things in the mind, in the heart, and in the body. Then, cultivate them in your relationships too.

Let's stop lying to ourselves, and let's get real about what our actions are really aimed toward.

Then, let's realign our actions with what really matters to us.

Thanks so much for reading. ❤️