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Blog: Explorations and Reflections

on awakening the True Self.

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  • Writer's pictureMick Scott

He didn't even get the sentence out. He was literally overwhelmed by the power of his own speaking.


How it started: he overheard that I’m mostly eating vegan, and then he said to me, “I wish I had that kind of self-discipline.”


You’ve heard or said this before, right?


“I don’t have the willpower to do that.”

“I could not survive without coffee.”

“I could never give up bacon.”

“I don’t have it in me to exercise three times a week.”


Or how about these versions:

“I just can’t get over what she did.”

“I could never forgive that.”

“I’ve had it.”


First things first: it’s totally fine to stick with whatever habits you’ve got. That’s not what this post is about.

This post is about the lies we tell ourselves.


I said to this person in response to his comment, “Of course you have that kind of self-discipline. This has nothing to do with your capacity for self-discipline.”

We tell ourselves lies like this for two reasons.


First, we tell ourselves lies like this because it lets us off the hook. If we’re somehow deficient or lacking in willpower, creativity, compassion, generosity, understanding, or vitality, well then we’re simply not responsible for how we show up. It’s the luck of the draw, it’s up to our genetics, it’s up to how we were raised.


Second, we tell ourselves lies like this because we want others to sell out on themselves too. Yes, misery loves company. If I can enroll you into the idea that yeah, maybe you’re just not cut out for it either, than we can keep each other company in our self-imposed, miserable mediocrity.

This is called a “conspiracy for smallness.” Our lies keep us small and they encourage others to stay small too.


We think playing small is safer. We think playing small is more comfortable. We think playing small is less scary.


It’s not.


Playing small is dangerous to our spiritual and emotional well-being. Playing small is uncomfortable - that’s why we complain so much when we’re playing small! Playing small is pretty terrifying - it’s full of doubtful, judgmental thinking that disrupts the quality of our lives and hurts the people and things we care about most.

So I said to this young man - "Look, it’s okay if you don't want to practice self-discipline, but at least be honest about it! Instead of saying 'I can’t,' try saying: 'I’m not willing…'"

We chatted for a few more minutes, and as I was about to leave, he said, “well, I can’t…I mean, I’m not willing to…”


And he stopped dead in his tracks. He got it, and I got goosebumps.

“I’m not willing” puts us in the driver’s seat, and it brings us into the present real fast.


Most of us are quite okay being someone who doesn't have self-discipline, but being someone who isn't willing to practice self-discipline? We don't like admitting that.

There’s power in honesty, and we can feeeel it.


When we’re honest like that, we begin to really think about what it is we really want, and we begin to stop selling out on it for some lame excuse like "I just don't have it in me."


Baloney.


Because if it’s not some circumstance that’s between me and what I want, maybe I actually could begin to own how I’m showing up and actually create the life I’d love to live.

Thanks so much for reading. ❤️


P.S. As a transformational life coach, I help teens, adults, and organizations move beyond their self-imposed limitations to be their best and feel their best. If you’re interested in finding out how I can support you or your organization, reach out and let’s talk. 💌


P.P.S. I don’t use AI to compose these blog posts. If you get value out of them, consider sharing them with someone who might be interested!

  • Writer's pictureMick Scott

I was on a call with a couple last week, and what I experienced blew me away.


When each of us enters into a conversation with another person, there are two versions of ourselves that potentially show up: the mechanism-self and the true self.


In our “fights” and persistent complaints with each other, we’re showing up as our mechanism-self.


The mechanism-self is the default self with all the triggers and reactions. (The "ego" is the control center of the mechanism-self.)


The mechanism-self has very clear, obvious, and unchanging goals:

  • Protect ourselves from perceived threats

  • Avoid being controlled or dominated

  • Avoid looking bad

  • Be right or win

  • Avoid inferiority (or prove it!)

  • “Make it” through the conversation, situation, day, or week

The mechanism-self employs these same strategies again and again with no new effects or impacts. In fact, the mechanism-self is typically detrimental to the well-being of our relationships and even ourselves!


You know your mechanism-self. It’s who shows up when you find yourself reacting to the same situation and the same person over and over and over again. It’s like a dance whose steps awaken demons and bring hell to your relationship's world, but neither of you can seem to stop dancing it!


That’s what was happening with this couple last week. They’ve been together for decades, but their mechanism-selves keep showing up to defend themselves! But they’re defending something that doesn’t need defending, because it’s clear that they care about each other and actually want nothing but the best for each other.

The problem with allowing our default mechanism-self to attempt problem resolution is that our mechanism-self resolves problems by going to war with the other person’s mechanism-self, and forward movement becomes impossible.


That's what was happening on last week's call, until I noted the exact moments where something else was possible...the exact moments to interrupt the mechanism-self with the true-self.


And then I saw it, the most powerful act of generosity I’ve ever witnessed: the couple gave up their mechanisms' reactions in service of love, compassion, and understanding.


Yes, our defenses can FLARE UP in reaction to a tone, to an emotion, or to a statement, and that moment is the key moment of decision in our relationships. That moment determines whether there’s Peace or Carnage. That moment determines whether there's Love or Judgment.


Relaxing the shoulders, relaxing the emotions, and letting go the intense desire to prove ourselves right is the most generous thing we can ever do. It can also be one of the hardest things we ever do! These emotions can be fiery!!


That's what makes this the most generous act in our relationships: in the face of all the mechanism's defenses, to choose love, compassion, understanding, and care over being right.


It's also kind of like a leap of faith, at least at first. And it's worth it.


In a calm moment of clarity, pick an inspired and empowered place to stand in your relationships. Then, in your next "fight," stand there no matter how fired up the mechanism-self gets.


For me, it's Unconditional Love.


P.S. As a transformational life coach, I help teens, adults, and organizations move beyond their self-imposed limitations to be their best and feel their best. If you’re interested in finding out how I can support you or your organization, reach out and let’s talk. 💌


  • Writer's pictureMick Scott

This week, like every week in the transformational work I do, I had a number of extraordinary conversations.


The result of these conversations: freedom, insight, inspiration, and power.

There’s a moment right before we feel free…


There’s a moment right before inspiration arises…


There’s a moment right before we feel the flow of power from within…


That moment is a moment of Peace.

Peace in the mind. Peace in the heart. Peace in our bodies.

Peace in our being.


Here’s how to be at Peace: give up that there’s something wrong.


When we give up that there’s something wrong with life, the world, others, or ourselves, we create a little room for Peace. And Peace only needs a little room to find a steady footing.


Where there's judgment, there’s no room for Peace.


Where there's judgment, there’s no room for Freedom.


Where there's judgment, there’s no room for Love.

I was on a call with a client today who was really stuck in a particular view of herself and her life. In our conversation, however, she began to get a powerful glimmer of freedom - and all it took was the willingness to be responsible for her judgments of herself and her circumstances.

When we give up our judgment that there’s something wrong, Peace becomes possible.


Peace begins with you. Give up that there’s anything wrong, then decide where you’d really like to come from.


The people in your life want this for you and them, and the world wants this from all of us.


Thank you reading. 🙏❤️


P.S. As a transformational life coach, I help teens, adults, and organizations move beyond their self-imposed limitations to be their best and feel their best. If you’re interested in finding out how I can support you or your organization, reach out and let’s talk. 💌

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