Marching for Peace, But From a Heart at War?

For a period in college, I was a card-carrying socialist. It began with my frustration with the U.S. response to 9/11 and the politics leading up to the 2003 Iraq war.

I went to a handful of anti-war rallies during that time, and one of them was with the socialist group I was a member of. My membership didn’t last much beyond that rally.

When I met up with the group, I was given a stock sign to hold with a stock message and a socialist organization logo on it. Then, as the march began around the Washington D.C. mall, our chapter leader got quite aggressive in keeping the 30 or so of us in a particular order as a group to communicate discipline, organization, and seriousness. 

And I saw something in him, in myself, and in others that day.

We may have been marching for peace, but many of us were doing it from a Heart at War.

Here was a disagreement of politics, and we thought we were on the moral side, the side of peace, the right side. (So did the “other” side, by the way.)

Yet we weren’t feeling at peace. We weren’t being at peace. We weren’t coming from a heart at peace. 

I hear it today too: pessimism, judgment, venom, and hatred, supposedly in service of peace, well-being, and a world that works for all life.

Peacemakers, be at peace. From there, and only from there, enter the conversation.

Self-righteousness, sarcasm, and insult aren’t the path to a better future for humanity. It's not healthy in the classroom, it's not healthy in the family, and it's not healthy in society.

Let there be Peace on Earth, and let it begin with me - in my heart, in my mind, in my body, in my relationships.

“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him.” - Gandhi

Much Love. ❤️

Breaking the Magic Spell of Reactivity

My gosh I was fuming inside! So frustrated. So full of mean energy. So hateful!

Then by Grace, the lesson came to me:

Speak for that frustration, not from it.

This is a practice in a powerful therapeutic process I’ve been mastering called Internal Family Systems. It’s incredible work.

It’s not that I was frustrated and hateful. A part of me was frustrated and hateful. 

So I jotted some notes: here’s what it sounds like to speak from that energy, here’s what that frustrated part of me wants to express. 

Then, I spoke for that part. “A part of me feels… A part of me thinks… A part of me is committed to… A part of me is trying to…”

And the magic spell of reactivity was broken. 

That frustrated part was still there, but it was no longer in charge. I was back in charge.

I gave it room. I gave it a listening ear. And I chose what words would come out of my mouth and what energy would be expressed through my being. 

That’s the source of all healing and transformation for us humans, by the way: we are innately whole, healthy, and capable. We sometimes simply abdicate our sovereignty to these loud parts within us.

Even when this frustrated part was burning hot, another part of me was patient and understanding. Another part of me was loving and appreciative. Another part of me was in perfect peace.

Accessing those other parts of ourselves becomes much easier when we speak for our parts and not from them. This puts the powerful and elemental I, the true self, back into the driver’s seat of our experience. 

No one is worthy of my judgment, and everyone is worthy of my love, including all parts of myself. I have room for all parts of myself, and they’re all welcome - they’re just not allowed to drive.

Much Love. ❤️

Trying to Make Me Feel Okay

How are you?

(It depends on what I'm thinking.)

How’s your day going?

(It depends on what I'm thinking.)

How was your weekend?

(It depends on what I'm thinking.)

Even when I’ve spent a day struggling - how has my day been? 

It depends on what I’m thinking.

Our thoughts aren’t everything. In fact, our thoughts are very little. It’s how we listen to our thoughts that determines their value and their impact. 

Over the last few days, I’ve had a decision on the table. Whenever my mind started revving into worry or analysis, I remembered this:

The mind is a gift. When it worries or over-analyzes, it’s afraid I won’t be okay. It’s searching for a way for me to feel okay.

And I remembered this:

The mind gets its energy to worry from fear in the nervous system and uncertainty in the heart. The way to settle that energy isn’t to figure it out with the mind - it's to allow the problem-solving, worried mind to settle on its own as its fuel source gets defused.

With unconditional feeling. With gentle presence. With caring attention.

Without needing to fix anything. Without needing to figure anything out. Without needing to fear anything.

I am not my mind. I am not my emotions. I am not my body. I am the space in which those parts of myself arise. 

My willingness to allow the parts of myself to be without needing them to be different - that’s the most important thinking I can ever do. Letting those parts be allows them to resolve themselves in the light of my own unconditional presence.

"I am safe. I can handle this. Thank you for the gifts you are. Thank you for looking out for me. I love you. I am safe. I can handle this."

These thoughts may start in the mind, but I’m only using them in my mind to focus it. Otherwise, I’m settling those truths into my body, into my heart, into my nervous system. 

How am I doing with that process lately?

It depends on what I’m thinking - not because my thinking is everything, but because my thinking impacts my experience of everything.

And I'm doing great with it. ☺️❤️

“There are no neutral thoughts. Every single thought is charged with a certain quality of energy. And when charged with Love, every thought can contribute to the healing of the planet and the transformation of the world.”

- Pierre Pradervand, The Gentle Art of Blessing

Much Love. ❤️