How Crappy Students Become My Best Teachers

Errrrrr! I was feeling impatient and frustrated!

I did NOT want to help this student out.

He missed class, he was often late, he was distracted during class, and he asked for help much later than he should have.

Besides, I had top students who also wanted my attention and assistance at that same moment. Those were the students I really wanted to be working with.

And I was annoyed with him and my duty to support him.

But the students who test my patience? They're not actually testing my patience: they're building it.

Every time I breathe out my frustration and relax my body around, beneath, and through any impatience, I build my patience. 

Impatience and frustration can be a gateway to deeper connection and peace of mind.

It’s one way my students become my teachers. My most challenging students are actually some of my biggest teachers.

The truth is, my impatience and frustration never come from anyone else. It's always born right here inside of me. That's why it's my responsibility to manage it.

There’s a selection from chapter 77 of the Tao Te Ching that I’ve been quoting recently:

“The Human Route:

Depriving the poor, 

Offering to the rich.”

Isn’t that what I’m doing when I want to turn from the struggling student and toward the more accomplished students? Depriving the poor, offering to the rich?

This is even trained into many of us in our family and educational structures: respect authority. What about our peers? What about the lowest among us?

Here’s what Jesus said that mirrors that Tao Te Ching lesson:

"Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40. 

This lesson applies in all contexts of our lives:

Teacher to students. 

Student to teachers.

Adult to children. 

Man to women, man to men.

Woman to men, woman to women.

And yes, to poor and rich too. (The largest companies in the world keep getting my money each month, but how much am I giving to the least of my brothers and sisters?)

It applies to ourselves too. Which of the parts of yourself do you shower with more care and pride? Which parts of yourself are you depriving of your care and pride?

And what’s one the most valuable gifts we can ever give? Our attention. Our listening. Our presence. Our compassion.

Giving these gifts is a practice. Practice practice practice. Most of us are crappy at it. With practice we can get better.

The path to heaven - whether for you it's a place or a state of being - is to expand our own awareness and treat the least of the world’s beings as if they were the Divine itself.

The universe doesn’t see hierarchy. It’s only through the filter of our interpretation and story that we see some beings as more important or valuable than others. That’s why this is such a powerful spiritual practice - to see the beauty, holiness, and goodness in all people, and to let go and move beyond those inner constraints within ourselves that keep us from seeing it.

A relevant verse from the Bhagavad Gita that I also read recently (chapter 5 verse 18): “The humble sages, by virtue of true knowledge, see with equal vision all beings, knowing that all beings are expressions of God.”

Much Love. ❤️

Practice and Progress

Othello Moments. That's some insider language one of my clients and I use together.

Othello is a strategy game, and it's tagline is this:

“A minute to learn…A lifetime to master!”

It’s so easy to find inspiring quotes and words of wisdom. (Our social media feeds are full of them.) Many of them take only a moment to learn.

Ah, but mastery. That takes time.

The path to mastery is practice. The access to consistent practice is discipline.

There are a few spiritual texts I study at different points throughout my day. More and more, I move slower and slower through these powerful texts. I find myself thinking to myself and saying to others:

"A single line in this text may take me a lifetime to master!"

And I mean it.

Mastery isn't a destination, it's a path.

Practice is the way we walk along that path.

Disciplined is the state of being that keeps us practicing.

With practice comes progress. It's sometimes noticeable right away, like learning a new melody on an instrument. Usually, though, progress is only noticeable after we've practiced for a little while.

What practices - that you know would be valuable for you - have you not been engaging in as much as you'd like to?

Where in life could you be more disciplined?

Get on the path to mastery that matters to you. Your life and the world are better off for it.

Much Love. ❤️

"I'm Addicted to This Game"

I let myself scroll through Instagram a couple times each week, and each time I come across ads that say something like this:

“I’m addicted to this game.”

“I’m addicted to this page.”

“I’m addicted to this app.”

Is that supposed to entice me? That their product is addictive?

No thanks! I'd rather not get addicted to whatever you're trying to sell me.

I’ll admit, there is a part of me that does get attracted to those ads. Other people’s passion can be attractive and inspiring!

But do we really want more addiction in our lives?

Here’s why we like being addicted to games, shows, substances, people, food, etc.: 

Our addictions help us avoid the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings we don’t know how to be with.

What if instead of scrolling longer, or streaming the next episode, or having a glass of wine, we instead decided to just sit with and be with the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings within us?

What if we got addicted to bringing wholeness to the parts of us that are uncomfortable? Or if we got addicted to listening to the parts of us that are whispering truths and integrity, the parts of us that know better, want better, and want to be better?

This week I reached for another date (the fruit, not a human) to eat after dinner - and there was a voice inside: “That’s enough.” So I put the date back in its package.

I listened and honored that voice.

It was powerful. It was freeing. It was authentic. It was Grace.

Also one evening this week, as I made dinner, I turned on an episode of a show I’ve been into lately. Again, that whisper inside: “Just be with the meal you’re making.” So I closed the laptop and focused solely on the meal.

I listened and honored that voice.

Here’s what I’m building up as a habit and an addiction: welcoming, embracing, and loving all parts of myself, including the uncomfortable ones.

When we let those parts be, they’ll let us be. And then there’s no longer any need to hide from them with our addictions and distractions.

"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."

- Blaise Pascal

Thank you for reading. ❤️