Who Am I?

There’s a segment in the second half of the Mind Mastery Experience where the room gets very quiet. 

Very quiet.

It sometimes happens with a participant sitting up front with me, and they’ve likely just said something starting with this: “I am …”

So we explore together, all of us in the room, who this “I” is that we so easily describe and address.

I’m an overthinker. 

I’m anxious.

I’m unsure.

I’m stressed.

I’m working on it.

I’m a work in progress.

I’m not perfect.

I’m angry.

In the quiet of this simple yet powerful conversation, all prior descriptions of the Self gently and lightly fall away…

Until there’s nothing left.*

What makes a cup so useful is the space it contains.

——— Feel free to continue reading or stop here ❤️ ———

Similarly, the more we free our minds from the inherited, default, descriptive, compensatory, and judgmental notions of who we think we are, the more space we have in our being to intentionally create who we are.

For the last couple years, I’ve had an hourly alarm go off to remind me to slow down and reflect upon whatever knowing I was looking to deepen into my subconscious mind. The last couple weeks, I’ve often been reflecting hourly on the question, “Who am I?”  

As my clients eventually find out, intentional conversations with me often identify existing “I am…” sentences. When we do the work to clean up our pre-existing notions of who we are, there’s a space that opens up. In that space we have an experience of who we really are. 

I have lots of intentional answers to that question - “Who am I?” - so one valuable outcome of asking the question has been for me to continually practice getting in touch with who I am consciously creating myself to be.

"Consciousness is a very subtle and powerful thing. You cannot help but create. Remember the goal of this pathway is to learn to deliberately create with perfect mastery.”

- The Way of Mastery

Another valuable outcome to asking the question - "Who am I?" - has been to simply explore in peace, wonder, and curiosity the space of awareness (and possibility for being) that I ultimately am (and that you ultimately are). 

We live our lives mostly in reaction - to circumstances, to commitments, to feelings and impulses and desires. We go through our days however we go through them, but we seldom get present to who it is we really are.

Who am I? I love that the question itself often now lays me down in a space of quiet freedom to show up however it is I'd like to show up.

Indeed, it's only ever been Life itself living me, by Grace and Blessing. "Who am I?" is a question that reminds me of that Truth.

That's why this segment of the Mind Mastery Experience gets so quiet - the True Self is a space of quiet awareness, an inner nebula, a birthplace of being, fueled by the Divine energy at the source of all that is.

Much Love. ❤️

* The Void: Śūnyatā (Buddhism), Wuji (Taoism), Shunya (Hinduism), Ayin (Jewish mysticism), Fana (Islamic mysticism), Luminous Darkness (Christian mysticism).

P.S. My inspiration to ask this question comes from two places: the self-inquiry practice of Ramana Maharshi and an assignment in a seminar I’m taking. 

Listening Only for This in the New Year

When we open our mouths to speak, wisdom is right there.

Wisdom is a knowing. It’s not a “knowing” in the intellectual sense. Intellectual understanding really is the booby prize, a participation ribbon that carries very little significance on its own.

Wisdom is a resonance. It’s not a resonance with what we already “know” or what we’ve heard before or what we read in a book or saw in an Instagram reel. It’s an inner resonance, like when two instruments are perfectly in tune. 

Even when we’re talking bullcrap, lying, or manipulating, wisdom is there. It’s that part of us that knows we’re speaking dishonestly. It’s that part of us that knows integrity, honesty, and authentic expression are not this, but they're possible.

...Only when we we grow beyond the limitation of resisting, avoiding, or reacting from our fears.

This evening I had another incredibly insightful and powerful conversation with a client. We’ve found a beautiful rhythm in our conversations where she speaks until there’s nothing left to say, and I simply listen. 

I’m not listening to respond. I’m not listening to understand. I’m not listening to shift or to fix or to transform anything. I'm not listening to get somewhere.

I’m listening simply to be with her and her experience accurately and completely.

(Perhaps a more descriptive term than "listening" is that I’m experiencing the expression of life through her.)

Then, I ask or express from accuracy, towards accuracy. And it just so happens that it uncovers for her a deeper level of awareness and insight. 

“Accuracy is looking closely at what’s happening. It’s also slowing down, quieting down, and witnessing the inner dialogues, the inner feelings, and the inner desires at play in our lives.” - Read the original blog post here

When we get accurate, wisdom gets louder. It's like seeing the code behind the Matrix - and Truth and insight show up.

That's the power and magic of a transformational conversation, what my friend Pete calls our "Ministry of Deep Listening."

So here's the simplest and most profound insight that I can share in this final post of 2025, and it's what my client fully got in our conversation - not "got" like a good idea or like a lesson she's heard before and has come across again. No, she got it like a Truth that she'll never unsee:

"The small tweaks are what make the biggest difference."

Indeed.

Entering this new year, I wish you profound growth - spiritual, physical, emotional, mental, relationship, and effectiveness - through the tiniest of micro tweaks that best come from listening to the wisdom that's already always speaking to you.

If you want support in learning how to hear it and honor it, reach out and let's talk.

Happy New Year.

Much Love. ❤️

Tell the Truth: The Holidays Aren't Stressful

Stress is a grown-up word for “Fear.”

Don’t say, “I’m stressed." Say, “I’m scared.”

Next time you feel stressed, ask yourself what you’re afraid of. What’s the insecure thought that’s driving your “stress”?

Is it that you’ll look bad? 

That people will judge you, laugh at you, or talk behind your back?

That you won’t show up how you’d like to show up?

That you won’t produce the result you’d like to produce?

That you’ll have wasted time?

That you’ll go unnoticed, unloved, or unwanted?

Stress is a reaction to that fear within.

Stress doesn't come from outside us - it's born right there within us.

As a fear that revs us up a bit, stress impacts the mind and the body.

Fueled by the energy of fear, the stressed mind thinks frenetically to prevent the feared outcome. The body and nervous system move into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode, hoping it can help too.

So we might listen to podcasts, read blogs 😬, and watch YouTube videos on techniques to not stress so much. Maybe take a bath, in candlelight, with a glass of wine.

But stress-management is only symptom-management - it doesn’t address the underlying fear at its Source.

Stress-management quells the beast temporarily, but it remains there within, a sleeping menace.

If we never address the underlying Source of our stress, it’ll keep showing up over and over and over and over again. The "enemy" with a thousand faces.

Don’t cope with any particular stress - heal the Source of stress (your relationship to insecure thinking and fearing) and make it last.

Self-care isn’t a one-off act to cope with - it’s a way of life. And it’s not self-focused, it’s Self-focused.

When you’re feeling stressed, ask yourself what you’re scared of. Often, simply asking ourselves this question and listening for the answer is enough to break free from the stress cycle.

When we see with our adult eyes how incredibly young nearly every one of our fears is, it often breaks the spell.

For those fears that seem to grip us more tightly, be with them. Witness them, observe them, give them room, and give them some softness. Like a scared dog that doesn’t understand what’s really going on when the thunder claps, these fears are a young part of us that’s hung around so long because we haven’t given it the reassurance that it craves.

Many of us live our lives scared of the results - the results we want and the results we’re afraid to get.

But the results aren’t ever up to us - they’ve never been. All that’s up to us is to let life be lived through us by honoring the spark of inspiration, love, and commitment that’s available in all moments.

So when you’re feeling stressed and you’ve uncovered the fear that’s driving it, ask yourself what you really want.

Chances are, you’re much more interested in an experience of authentic peace, love, and enjoyment - an experience far beyond the experience of merely looking good.

Stress is not inevitable. It's a practiced reaction to fear and insecurity that can be transformed.

Next time you’re feeling stressed, ask yourself what you’re scared of. Life, the Universe, God - has led you this far, and you’ll be taken care of this holiday season too.

Much Love. ❤️