Listening Only for This in the New Year

When we open our mouths to speak, wisdom is right there.

Wisdom is a knowing. It’s not a “knowing” in the intellectual sense. Intellectual understanding really is the booby prize, a participation ribbon that carries very little significance on its own.

Wisdom is a resonance. It’s not a resonance with what we already “know” or what we’ve heard before or what we read in a book or saw in an Instagram reel. It’s an inner resonance, like when two instruments are perfectly in tune. 

Even when we’re talking bullcrap, lying, or manipulating, wisdom is there. It’s that part of us that knows we’re speaking dishonestly. It’s that part of us that knows integrity, honesty, and authentic expression are not this, but they're possible.

...Only when we we grow beyond the limitation of resisting, avoiding, or reacting from our fears.

This evening I had another incredibly insightful and powerful conversation with a client. We’ve found a beautiful rhythm in our conversations where she speaks until there’s nothing left to say, and I simply listen. 

I’m not listening to respond. I’m not listening to understand. I’m not listening to shift or to fix or to transform anything. I'm not listening to get somewhere.

I’m listening simply to be with her and her experience accurately and completely.

(Perhaps a more descriptive term than "listening" is that I’m experiencing the expression of life through her.)

Then, I ask or express from accuracy, towards accuracy. And it just so happens that it uncovers for her a deeper level of awareness and insight. 

“Accuracy is looking closely at what’s happening. It’s also slowing down, quieting down, and witnessing the inner dialogues, the inner feelings, and the inner desires at play in our lives.” - Read the original blog post here

When we get accurate, wisdom gets louder. It's like seeing the code behind the Matrix - and Truth and insight show up.

That's the power and magic of a transformational conversation, what my friend Pete calls our "Ministry of Deep Listening."

So here's the simplest and most profound insight that I can share in this final post of 2025, and it's what my client fully got in our conversation - not "got" like a good idea or like a lesson she's heard before and has come across again. No, she got it like a Truth that she'll never unsee:

"The small tweaks are what make the biggest difference."

Indeed.

Entering this new year, I wish you profound growth - spiritual, physical, emotional, mental, relationship, and effectiveness - through the tiniest of micro tweaks that best come from listening to the wisdom that's already always speaking to you.

If you want support in learning how to hear it and honor it, reach out and let's talk.

Happy New Year.

Much Love. ❤️

Tell the Truth: The Holidays Aren't Stressful

Stress is a grown-up word for “Fear.”

Don’t say, “I’m stressed." Say, “I’m scared.”

Next time you feel stressed, ask yourself what you’re afraid of. What’s the insecure thought that’s driving your “stress”?

Is it that you’ll look bad? 

That people will judge you, laugh at you, or talk behind your back?

That you won’t show up how you’d like to show up?

That you won’t produce the result you’d like to produce?

That you’ll have wasted time?

That you’ll go unnoticed, unloved, or unwanted?

Stress is a reaction to that fear within.

Stress doesn't come from outside us - it's born right there within us.

As a fear that revs us up a bit, stress impacts the mind and the body.

Fueled by the energy of fear, the stressed mind thinks frenetically to prevent the feared outcome. The body and nervous system move into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode, hoping it can help too.

So we might listen to podcasts, read blogs 😬, and watch YouTube videos on techniques to not stress so much. Maybe take a bath, in candlelight, with a glass of wine.

But stress-management is only symptom-management - it doesn’t address the underlying fear at its Source.

Stress-management quells the beast temporarily, but it remains there within, a sleeping menace.

If we never address the underlying Source of our stress, it’ll keep showing up over and over and over and over again. The "enemy" with a thousand faces.

Don’t cope with any particular stress - heal the Source of stress (your relationship to insecure thinking and fearing) and make it last.

Self-care isn’t a one-off act to cope with - it’s a way of life. And it’s not self-focused, it’s Self-focused.

When you’re feeling stressed, ask yourself what you’re scared of. Often, simply asking ourselves this question and listening for the answer is enough to break free from the stress cycle.

When we see with our adult eyes how incredibly young nearly every one of our fears is, it often breaks the spell.

For those fears that seem to grip us more tightly, be with them. Witness them, observe them, give them room, and give them some softness. Like a scared dog that doesn’t understand what’s really going on when the thunder claps, these fears are a young part of us that’s hung around so long because we haven’t given it the reassurance that it craves.

Many of us live our lives scared of the results - the results we want and the results we’re afraid to get.

But the results aren’t ever up to us - they’ve never been. All that’s up to us is to let life be lived through us by honoring the spark of inspiration, love, and commitment that’s available in all moments.

So when you’re feeling stressed and you’ve uncovered the fear that’s driving it, ask yourself what you really want.

Chances are, you’re much more interested in an experience of authentic peace, love, and enjoyment - an experience far beyond the experience of merely looking good.

Stress is not inevitable. It's a practiced reaction to fear and insecurity that can be transformed.

Next time you’re feeling stressed, ask yourself what you’re scared of. Life, the Universe, God - has led you this far, and you’ll be taken care of this holiday season too.

Much Love. ❤️

Power is...

Power is personal.  

Power is not dependent on other people.

Power is an act of intentionality and commitment.

Power is found in a profound relationship to reality.

Power is born in the realm of facts in a creative mind, not default and inherited stories in a fearful mind.

Power is accessed, in part, by distinguishing the limited and limiting perspectives inherited in our childhood and adolescence.

Power is constrained by the brands upon our minds and nervous systems of unintegrated past traumas - the big T and little T traumas.

Power is choice.

Power is stepping across the invisible lines that others and ourselves draw in the sand of infinite possibility.

Power is moving beyond the invisible constraints of our own thinking.

Power is a verb, it’s not a noun.

Power is a dynamic relationship, not a fixed entity.

Power is limited by fear and insecure thinking.

Power is inherent in life. 

Power is deliberate.

Power is focused.

Power is not mine and it’s not yours.

Power is the willingness to be honest and responsible about the limiting stories we use to placate our fears.

Power is not right, it’s not wrong, it’s not better, it’s not worse, it’s not good, it’s not evil.

Power is not force.

Power is a gift.

Power is a Grace.

Power is optional...

So is honesty. So is commitment. So is intentionality.

...Or not...

What do you say?

Much Love. ❤️