Positive Thinking Born From Inner Wholeness

I was on a mid-morning walk with a friend, sharing with him that earlier in the week, I caught myself dreading that afternoon’s teaching load. I told him that I turned my dread around into a state of empowerment.

“So," he asked, "what you do is positive thinking, right?”

“Yes,” I told him, “but it’s not usually about making up more positive things to think.”

So I told him a story…

A couple nights ago, I told him, I got out of the car feeling an uncomfortable fear and self-judgment arise. 

I went inside the house, and while making dinner I felt an urge to watch a show.

But I knew it would just distract me from what I was feeling, so I didn’t watch one.

After dinner and a bit closer to bed, I thought I’d watch my show then or read a book. Again, though, I realized that I would just be distracting myself from feeling the discomfort. 

So I went and sat on my meditation pillow instead. “Here, let me be with you,” I said to that uncomfortable part of myself. 

I sat with the feeling, relaxing my mind from its distracting analysis. And as my mind relaxed, I invited it to travel back in time to earlier experiences of that same feeling…

I was 15 years old, feeling small and hurt and alone. 

A kid behind me in class would sometimes make fun of me, telling me in an unkind way that I was going bald. 

I didn’t even like that kid, but his words poked a core wound. 

I’m not enough, I’m unworthy, and I’m unlovable - many of us have one of those, don’t we?

Now, the charged emotion of fear and insecurity was much younger than 15, but I’d never sat with that particular 15 year old before. So I sat with him and asked him to express himself - anything at all that he’d like to share.

Internally this can be tricky sometimes. The mind sometimes wants to speak for the younger parts of ourselves. But I focused on the kid and asked him, again, if there’s anything he’d like to express. 

And he told me everything he never told anyone else back then. He asked me his questions, he shared his heart and his thinking. And I was there for him in a way he never let anyone else be there for him.

He even apologized to me for the way his sadness and low feelings still show up for me today.

It was a beautiful conversation of healing, kindness, care, and support. 

As the conversation with this younger part of myself began to come to a close, I asked that part of myself this question:

“If you were no longer playing the sad, despondent, depressed role anymore, what role would you want to play?”

And the answer came immediately: “I care deeply for all people, including myself. That's the role I want to play.”

“So,” I told my friend on our mid-morning walk, “I now have this positive thought that can empower me when a particular kind of fear and despondency seems to overcome me: I care deeply for all people, including myself."

Yes it’s a positive thought, but it’s one that sprouted from a deep and authentic moment of inner wholeness.

Thank you for engaging with my writing. ❤️

A Heart at Peace in Minnesota

Despite trying hard to blame the victim, the government has backed down a little and began shifting the energy of its immigration work in Minneapolis over the last week.

Here’s why:

The latest murder victim at the hands of the government was so obviously acting from a Heart at Peace.

Whether towards others, towards ourselves, or towards the world, we always have a choice: 

Come from a Heart at Peace or come from a Heart at War.

Especially in emotional situations, over 90% of what we communicate is non-verbal. People hear our being louder than they can hear our words.

When we come from a Heart at Peace, patience, kindness, and love are present. Understanding is present. Generosity is present. Intentionality is present.

Here's a crazy thing about the Heart at Peace vs. Heart at War distinction: we can even engage in war from a Heart at Peace.

That's what Gandhi did. That's what Nelson Mandela did.

More people than ever are aware of social and environmental injustice and exploitation than ever before. We can resolve these crises much more effectively and completely from a Heart at Peace rather than a Heart at War.

Sometimes we may choose to fight, but even fighting from a Heart at Peace is a much more grounded and intentional place to engage from than fighting from a Heart at War.

Alex Pretti, the man killed by federal agents last week in Minnesota, gave his life fighting for the humane treatment of people. He did it from a Heart at Peace, and it's made a much greater impact than if he had been coming from a Heart at War.

In your relationships with your government, neighbors, kids, colleagues, spouse, and even with yourself...

Choose: Heart at War or Heart at Peace.

If you don't make this a conscious choice right now, then someone or something else in your past will be making it for you.

Much Love. ❤️

Simple, Not Easy: How to Live the Truth

Truth is easy to know. 

It’s easy to repeat to somebody else.

It’s easy to put into a social media post. 

But it can be challenging to live.

Why is it tough to live the truths we “know”? Because we mostly just know it in the conscious mind, but truth doesn’t make a difference until we embed it in the subconscious.

Here’s an example of a simple-but-hard truth that is a literal life-changer to most people I’ve worked with:

Be kind to yourself.

So easy to say. So obvious to recognize. But doing it? That’s much tougher. 

There are threads within us of self-judgment - they're woven through our unconscious/subconscious mind and heart. 

Judgment, attack, condemnation.

"What you cannot accept, you will judge. And every judgment is an attempt to murder what you have decided has no right to be."

- The Way of Mastery

So how can we take an obvious, powerful, and profound truth that’s easy to know intellectually, and embed it into our unconscious?

Practice. Intentionality. Investing time, thought, and care. And sometimes investing money.

Be kind to yourself - here are some simple ways to practice it - simple to say, but challenging to master:

Compassionate self-forgiveness. 

• I forgive myself for saying that.

• I forgive myself for doing that.

• I forgive myself for being that way.

• I forgive myself for thinking that.

• I forgive myself for judging myself for…

Blessing.

• I bless myself.

• I wish for myself clarity, peace, and intentionality.

• I wish for myself integrity, consistency, and growth.

Gratitude.

• Thank you for the gift of this experience. I may not see it yet, and I’m grateful.

• Thank you for the wisdom to see this.

• Thank you for showing me how I truly wish to be.

Lovingkindness.

• To the parts of myself asking for attention and healing, I love you.

• To the people I’ve hurt, including myself, I love you.

• To the people and experiences in my past that hurt me, I forgive you and I love you.

On my rough days, I forgive myself well over a hundred times, no exaggeration. On my clear days, I still forgive myself a dozen or so times.

Forgiveness and gratitude are two of the most direct pathways to love - towards the self and towards others. 

"Judgment lives on the side of the fence with fear. Forgiveness lives on the side of the fence with Love, and only Love can heal this world."

- The Way of Mastery

Blessing you and me on our path to living the Truth, as simple as it sounds and as tough as it can be sometimes. 

Much Love. ❤️