“Random acts of kindness.”
This phrase has always sounded sweet to me. It's also always felt a bit off.
Seeing a mother guide her child to kindness at the gym last week, it suddenly made sense!
It’s easy to be randomly kind. It’s much more challenging (and generous and fulfilling and enlightening) to be kind always and unconditionally.
We live conditional lives.
- conditionally loving
- conditionally forgiving
- conditionally compassionate
- conditionally gracious
- conditionally welcoming - conditionally happy
- conditionally kind
Random acts of kindness allow us to feel better about ourselves while allowing us to justify being jerks at other times.
Instead of being randomly kind,
Instead of being conditionally kind,
How about simply being kind. Period.
Kindness isn't an action. Kindness is a way of being.
How about being kind intentionally.
How about being kind unconditionally.
How about being kind always.
Being kind ≠ being a doormat.
We can speak honestly, have boundaries, stand up for ourselves, stand up for our values, AND be kind.
Kind to others.
Kind to ourselves.
Kind in light of our values and commitments.
Kind in light of others’ values and commitments.
One thing I love about our current divisive political culture is that it puts on loudspeaker - in our thoughts and in our conversations - how UNkind we can be.
An impulse to be unkind is the perfect opportunity to practice kindness. An impulse to be unkind is the exact moment when we get to choose kindness over righteousness, kindness over frustration, kindness over judgment, and kindness over defensiveness.
It’s pretty easy to be kind randomly. That’s like liking someone you already get along with.
It’s much more challenging to be kind always and unconditionally. That takes intentionality. That takes commitment. That takes grace and generosity, forgiveness and compassion.
It’s also much more fulfilling and enlightening for everyone involved.
Don’t get me wrong - any kind of kindness is great! Random acts are great too, so keep that up if it's your thing.
I think, though, we can all be a bit more intentionally kind.
Much Love. ❤️
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