Reacting Is NOT Authenticity

Many of us confuse authenticity with reacting from our emotions or reacting from our thinking.

That's not authenticity. That's emotional immaturity.

Authenticity ≠ Reacting.

Where there's drama in our lives, we're caught in Reactivity.

Re-acting. It's a repeated act. It's a replay of how we've been before, it's unoriginal, and it's constrained.

And the people, situations, politics, and circumstances of our lives aren't the reason we're caught in reactivity loops - even though it really really looks that way.

Ever notice how when we're reacting, there's someone or something to blame? We blame when we're unwilling to be responsible for our experience of life.

Blame is a self betrayal - we disempower ourselves and claim to be the victim of our circumstances. We sell out on our innate ability to thrive no matter the circumstances.

One of the issues at play is that many of us feel we only have 2 choices when it comes to challenging emotions or thinking: reacting or repressing. Neither of these is authentic.

There's a third way: the path to Emotional Freedom and Mind Mastery.

This path offers us the freedom to creatively respond to the people and circumstances in our life instead of being constrained by the impulse to react.

Message me if you'd like to explore what the path to emotional freedom and mind mastery looks like for you.

Much Love. ❤️

Freedom Is a State of Being

Right before I took the picture below, I thought: "This would've been the perfect scene, if it weren't for those boats out there!"

And then I immediately realized that this scene ALREADY was perfect.

I (and you too, probably) so often resist the moment in front of me...

• I resist what's happening

• I resist how I'm feeling

• I think that fulfillment, enjoyment, peace, and wholeness exist some-where else, some-when else, with some-one else.

"If it weren't for ______, this moment would be perfect."

Two boats in the water is a pretty trivial example of resisting the moment - yet it so easily represents all those other moments that I judge and resist what's happening.

My inner resistance to how it is right now and my inner resistance to how I feel - THAT is my access to the freedom to experience a truly perfect moment.

✓ Freedom to respond instead of react.

✓ Freedom to choose and not be stuck.

✓ Freedom to feel and release challenging emotions.

✓ Freedom to appreciate ALL of it.

Freedom is not a particular set of circumstances - freedom is a state of being.

Of course, knowing this doesn't make much difference on its own. Information ≠ Transformation.

Freedom takes consistency, and freedom takes practice.

Allowing, then befriending, then even loving ALL of the parts of ourselves and our experience is like a parent opening its arms to a child after years of showing it hostility. It takes some time for these parts of us to warm up and trust us. It also takes time for us to show up authentically with compassion and understanding. That’s why consistency is so important.

Freedom is the outcome of my work with people, and the nature of my work is consistency, insight, and love (of self, other, and life itself).

Freedom is the outcome of my work with people. The nature of my work is consistency, insight, and love (of self, other, and life itself).

One friend/client calls me his "Freedom Fighter Coach." Another calls me her "Love-Me Coach." Another calls me his "Mind Mastery Coach."

They're all the same thing. 🤯

If you want greater emotional freedom and a greater freedom to respond instead of react to the circumstances of your life, message me and let's connect.

"As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison."

- Nelson Mandela

Much Love. ❤️

When It Wasn’t My Morning...or Was It?

I was standing next to the coffee machine when I laughed, turned to a colleague standing there, and said, “This is not my morning.”

There were three really good reasons why it wasn’t my morning. 

1. The night before, I had a major disagreement with my family that I was still feeling strongly about when I woke up.

2. I printed a test and then put my backpack on a surface in the faculty copy room. That surface happened to be a paper shredder that ate a chunk out of my backpack!

3. I overfilled my tea thermos, burned my fingers, and made a mess of the faculty room countertop.  

Come on, aren’t those good reasons that this just wasn't my morning?

There’s nothing wrong with being reasonable - there are many times in life when it’s quite smart and wise to be reasonable - it’s much safer! But much of the time, being reasonable is living a life determined by some inherited (and usually pessimistic) way of thinking about ourselves, others, or the world. 

Being reasonable is one of the distinctions of the Mind Mastery Experience that I lead with groups. 

Being reasonable means living a life determined by reasons. It's allowing reasons to make our decisions. It's allowing reasons to determine what's possible for who we are and how we're showing up. It's living a life determined by our judgments about our circumstances. 

It's okay to be reasonable - we just mostly pretend that we're in charge of our lives, when we actually often give reasons all the power in our lives.

Immediately after I said, “This is not my morning,” I realized it was a lie. 

It was my morning! Every morning is my morning. It is! I’m here, aren’t I??? 

“This is not my morning” was the result of a judgmental and condemning outlook on my day so far. It was incredibly pessimistic and reasonable. And it was limiting.

Our unhappiness always has a reason.  

One of the participants in a Mind Mastery Experience in 2023 got in touch with a powerful possibility for himself: Living Unreasonably Happy. 

Imagine not needing reasons to be happy?

Being happy even while having lots of reasons not to be. Being happy even in challenging circumstances. Being happy even with unhappy feelings going on inside. 

Unreasonably happy. Unreasonably relaxed. Unreasonably at peace. Unreasonably forgiving. Unreasonably well.

Why not?

This isn’t something we need to force. In fact, it's not something we can force. When we learn how to live from emotional freedom and mind mastery, life-altering insight has room to arise. That's the business I'm in.

Being unreasonable is a form of surrender - it’s relaxing our grip a bit and allowing Grace to move us in the direction of a life fulfilled.

Much Love. ❤️