Opening the Mind up to Possibilities

Last weekend I began preparing for a Mind Mastery event I’m leading at a school in a couple weeks. The first thing I did was review feedback from teen participants from previous events. 

Here’s some of that feedback. I invite you to hear the wisdom in these statements, and consider how it might apply or make a difference in your life:

”I feel like I've awakened to my own life.”

“It opened my mind up to possibilities.”

“I gained a greater insight into my life.”

“This class was probably the most beneficial event of my life.”

“I am in control of what I want.”

“I’m right where I need to be.”

“I don’t need a reason or a purpose to do what inspires me.”

“I’m committed to the idea that this is practice.”

“Getting mad in the car stays in the car, like a fart with closed windows.”

“My inner songs really should be sung.”

“This is so applicable for everyone.”

“People I thought were my opposition actually make it clearer to me what I feel is important, what I value, and how I want to treat people. All people are a gift to me!”

"Ever since the Mind Mastery Experience, I've been laying in my bed at night in perfect peace and oneness."

“I’m not taking things personally like I used to. I have a lot more peace of mind and room for people to be however they are.”

“Maintaining my integrity would involve paying attention to my true self, primary emotions, guiding values.”

"The strengths of this conversation was that it really got me to open up and I felt completely safe the whole time."

“The day after the MME, I had a really terrible set of circumstances in the morning. Just because I had bad circumstances doesn’t meant mean it’s a bad day. I took some time to myself and applied some of our principles and tools, and it ended up being a really great day.”

“We have an inner toddler, and the toddler isn’t the problem - it’s all about how we react to the toddler.”

Which of those statements resonate most with you?

Much Love. ❤️

Authenticity OR Connection?

My first job out of college was working as an engineer with an environmental consulting firm. While on a trip to Puerto Rico for work, my manager told me we shouldn't be more than 90-95% ourselves at work.

Most of us, subconsciously, often grapple with how authentic we're willing and able to be. It can show up as holding back by not expressing our honest thoughts and feelings - people pleasing, getting stuck in a persona, imposter syndrome, and other ways.

There's an inherent fear for many of us in being authentic. "Should I let this person know what I really think, feel, or want??? What if they won't like me afterward?"

The reason most of us fear being authentic is because we don't want to lose connection or even possible connection. We want to be liked, to be accepted, to be supported, to be loved.

Most of us are willing to sacrifice being authentic in order to be connected, and we do this throughout our lives.

Our two fundamental needs starting at birth are authenticity and connection.

Authenticity is honestly expressing the self and being known. Connection is loving, supportive, and accepting relationships with others.

When we’re very young, we instinctually know that our existence depends on the support of the people around us. We need that connection.

So when our parents get mad, or shocking or confusing things happen to us, most of us decide to sacrifice our authenticity in order to maintain connection. 

Many of us become good boys and girls, holding our real opinions and feelings back so we don’t hurt feelings, get people mad or disappointed, and lose the connection.

Others of us become intentionally rebellious or opinionated, hiding our vulnerabilities and insecurities behind an arrogance still built on a sense that we're inherently not enough just as we are.

Since most of us never learned how to be authentic and maintain healthy, loving connections with others, we continue grappling with our internal GPS that wants to be authentically expressed while being afraid of losing or damaging relationships that matter to us.

So many of us continue to be inauthentic - inwardly fearful, watchful, and insecure while outwardly fine and dandy.

(Ever notice how much energy it takes to manage being inauthentic? That inner dissonance, and the dissonance it creates in our relationships, has an energetic/emotional cost, and it can make our mind move in a frenzy.)

Others of us become intentionally outspoken or righteous, to battle that tendency to be dishonest, and we sacrifice connection and care that we’re actually still wanting. 

Most of us have been making the choice between authenticity and connection our entire lives, and we've worked the muscle of selling out on our authenticity to maintain a mediocre, threadbare connection.

As little kids, we don’t have a choice: most of us chose to sacrifice authenticity in order to maintain connection. 

As adults, however, we do have a choice. 

But the choice is not limited authenticity OR connection. We can choose authenticity AND connection. 

Choosing authenticity AND connection takes practice, intentionality, and courage. 

Choosing authenticity AND connection honors our fundamental needs, it honors us, and it honors others. 

Let’s be aware of the choice we’re making, and choose it more intentionally. 

As we heal and integrate those scared and separate parts of ourselves, greater authenticity, connection, peace, and joy become possible. Healing and integration towards authenticity and authentic connection is the nature of my work.

Much Love. ❤️

How to Have an Incredible 2025

Want 2025 to be a great year?

Then get 2024 complete. 

Getting 2024 complete is like turning the page on an already-full drawing in our sketchbook, so we have a blank new page to create 2025. 

Getting 2024 complete is like finishing a chapter before starting to write the next one. If we don't finish the chapter called 2024, 2025 will just be a continuation of last year.

Going into 2025 without getting 2024 complete is like putting up new drywall in a room with mold damage. If we don't remediate the damage to the wood structure behind the drywall, the new walls will get moldy too.

Most of us live life with one incompletion on top of another. 

We build defenses, personalities, and habits that help us cope with the past, and it leaves our present and future dependent on the past. 

Completion doesn't change the past, obviously. It does, however, change how we relate to the past - and this is where the possibility of freedom truly lies.

Within the last 24 hours I met with an 18-year-old client and a 69-year-old client. You know what both conversations had in common?

One was caught in regret, disappointment, and shame. The other was caught in judgment, self-righteousness, and loneliness. With compassionate inquiry, we accessed the originating incidents and completed them. In the space of that completion, there was relief, freedom, and empowerment. 

Now is the time to be doing the work to complete 2024 (and prior years that have been sticking around for a while!). Give this gift to your 2025 self.

As a transformational life coach, I'm masterful at supporting people to get complete and access a space of freedom and possibility in areas of life where they feel stuck, limited, stressed, or ineffective. As a former client said to me at a Christmas party last week: “working with you is the reason I get to live a life I love again.”

There are two ways to work with me: one-on-one and in group Mind Mastery programs with your school, business, or community. Take your level of completion and creation to a new level - reach out and let's talk.

Much Love. ❤️