Overload ≠ Overwhelm

Overload is when we’ve got a LOT on our plate. 

Overload: a pile of work tasks, home tasks, family issues, friendship issues, political concerns, health worries, etc. - all at once!

Overload ≠ Overwhelm.

Overwhelm is an emotional reaction to overload. 

Overwhelm: a stress- or fear-based emotional reaction. 

Overload usually has something to do with what’s going on outside ourselves. Overwhelm is an inside job and has to do with how we’re emotionally dealing with what’s outside.

We think that overload initiates the overwhelm. It doesn’t. 

Overwhelm is a result of insecure and fearful thinking about our ability to effectively deal with the overload.

Without insecure and fearful thinking, we wouldn’t get overwhelmed. 

When you get overwhelmed, what are you afraid of? 

Disappointing others? Embarrassing yourself? Failing to hit the mark? “Dropping the ball”?

("Dropping the ball" and “failure” might come to mind, but dig deeper: what’s the problem with ‘dropping the ball’? What’s the problem with ‘failing’? That's what you're afraid of.)

When you get overwhelmed, what insecure thought about yourself takes the wheel of your emotions? 

Is it that you can’t handle this? That you aren’t smart enough, strong enough, effective enough?

A participant in last year’s mind mastery experience said that seeing that insecurity underlies so much of what she feels was incredibly freeing. “When we come to terms with the insecurity, it’s easier to respond.” (Link to 1:18 min video of her describing this.)

While overload may be inescapable in life at times, overwhelm is optional.

The world will keep turning. The sun will come up tomorrow. This too shall pass. Use whatever aphorism you like to ground yourself in times of overwhelm to help you relax and let the emotional storm blow over. 

And if you really want to level-up your ability to be clear-headed, powerful, and at ease in the face of overload, reach out and let’s talk.

The truth: each of us really can handle whatever we need to handle, even if our insecure and fearful thinking tells us otherwise.

Overwhelm isn’t really about the overload - it's about our relationship to the overload.

Much Love. ❤️

The Loaded Weapon Within

I shot my first gun a couple months ago.

I've been wanting to try it for years, and a relative invited me out. We shot an AR15. I was hitting a target that was 200 yards away!

There are a number of insights that I took away from that experience, and here’s one of them:

The trigger was so easy to pull. It took nearly nothing at all to pull it, and it initiated some serious damage!

And yet the trigger itself actually does very little - it’s a very small part of the weapon. 

What really does the damage isn’t the trigger - it’s the loaded gun that it’s attached to. 

The same is true of us. The people, situations, and experiences that trigger us aren’t the problem. It’s some deeper, unhealed, and unintegrated part of ourselves, the loaded gun, that’s at issue.

On Saturday I led a Mind Mastery Experience to 12 students 16-18 years old. It surprises and inspires me each time how willing our adolescents are to be vulnerable, to express themselves, and to step through and beyond their self-imposed limitations...when we give them a safe space, a profound listening, and an effective body of work.

At one point I was working with a student who’s been grappling with anxiety, and at another point I was working with a student who gets annoyed and angry at a younger sibling - both of them getting triggered by something outside themselves. No, we can’t possibly avoid all the possible triggers in life, but we can disarm our inner weapons.

“Turning swords into plowshares” - it’s exactly what this student learned to do. To practice sowing seeds of acceptance, love, and gratitude no matter what inner storms might arise. 

So beautiful and powerful. 

Next time you’re triggered, try to see that the trigger isn’t a problem. Instead, allow the trigger to support your healing and integration by looking within at the loaded gun of unresolved judgments, trapped emotions, past experiences, or stories you’ve bought into as the truth.

The trigger simply releases the power that’s already there. Turn that weapon into a tool for inner and outer peace, love, and joy for yourself and others.

If you don’t know how to do that, set up a call with me and let’s connect - it’s something I’ve gotten quite good at supporting people with.

Much Love. ❤️

Not Saying It Out Loud, but Still Saying It

What is it you’re not saying out loud, but still saying?

You’re saying something with your body language and your tone.

You’re saying something in the friends you keep, the people you live with, the colleagues you hang around.

You’re saying something even when you’re saying something else.

We are always communicating something, even when we think we aren’t.

And people are always interpreting what we’re saying, especially when we’re not saying it out loud.

If we’re not even clear what it is we’re communicating, how can we be surprised when others make assumptions about us?

Here’s the opportunity in the fact that we’re always communicating something: to be intentional.

Intentional in my tone. Intentional in my body language. Intentional in my relationships.

Where does our intentionality begin?

"What you perceive is communicated always. You do it with the [clothes] that you place upon the body. You do it with your gestures and the sound of your voice... What you are choosing to perceive, believe and accept as true will be radiated through you." The Way of Mastery

Our intentionality begins in how we direct our will in our thinking.

Intentional in my thoughts about others, and intentional in my thoughts about myself.

Intentional in my thoughts about the past, and intentional in my thoughts about the future.

The fact that we’re always communicating doesn’t need to be stressful or overwhelming. In fact, it can be quite liberating. 

People will always interpret in their own way what we’re saying and how we’re showing up, often regardless of what we intend.

And so if we’re intentional about what we say and how we’re showing up, we get to be clear and grounded in what’s accurate for us. 

We can let others take it however they take it, and keep checking in with ourselves on our integrity and intentions.

Let's be intentional about the seeds we plant in the garden of our mind, our heart, our body, our relationships, and our souls. Those seeds grow into the communications we give, whether we say them out loud or not.

Much Love. ❤️