What’s Really Blocking Your Peace of Mind

It’s too hot.

It’s too humid.

It’s too cloudy.

My task list is too long.

I’m too fat.

I’m too skinny.

I’m too old.

I’m too tired.

I need more money.

People are too selfish.

People aren’t kind enough.

My spouse isn't compassionate enough.

This is too much.

Our preferences get in the way of what we really want.

Really.

We ultimately have one problem in our lives: we think that satisfying all of our preferences is what we really want.

It’s not.

What is it that we all really want? Happiness and peace of mind. Satisfaction and well-being. Enjoyment and flow. Love and belonging.

The power of effective meditative practices and transformational conversations is that we move beyond the surface-level preferences that create our own personal hell.

When we move beyond those preferences and get in touch with what we really want, we can’t help but realize that we’re much closer to our goals than we think.

Preferences are the ego’s way of distracting us from the Truth: each of us is already whole, complete, and perfect.

Why would we want to be distracted from that?!

Because living in the moment can be terrifying...

Trusting ourselves and honoring the truth percolating up from the core of our being. Speaking with integrity. Acting with integrity. Living with integrity.

We betray our True and Authentic Self, and we resign ourselves to a life of fighting for our preferences. Yes it can be incredibly uncomfortable and unsatisfying living like this, but it’s oh so much safer.

The alternative is to be honest with ourselves and others. This would have us ignore the siren’s call of infinite distractions in this technological age. This would have us commit to being courageous and living life in alignment with the Divine voice that each of us has whispering to us throughout the day.

Try it out, for just a day: notice how your preferences are always pinging you, bothering you, distracting you from…something.

What is it that your preferences are distracting you from?

There’s gold here to mine. And believe it or not, our future and the future of the world depends only on our willingness to honor the ever-present whisper of truth flickering like a candle flame within us.

And it flickers within all of us. All. Day. Long.

Choose: react from your preferences or honor who you really are.

Thanks so much for reading. 🙏❤️

P.S. As a transformational coach, I help people and organizations move beyond their self-imposed limitations to be their best and feel their best. If you’re interested in finding out how I can support you or your organization, reach out and let’s talk. 💌

Stop Creating Your Own Personal Hell

The man was in his early-70s, and he was not happy.

I was looking for something down an aisle in Walmart when he walked briskly behind me, muttering to himself in frustration.

He was spitting complaints out of his mouth, and he was ready to fight. He seemed pissed at Walmart customers, Walmart employees, and probably at the Walmart corporation.

He was in his own personal hell at that moment.

(I've been there in Walmart before! 🤣)

Nearly all of us spit complaints at some point during our day, either out loud or in our heads, and we find ourselves in our own personal hell.

I hate traffic!

My boss is incompetent!

These kids should behave better!

This weather is too hot!

My neighbors are unbearable!

We also blame ourselves:

I’m too sensitive!

People don't like me!

I'm crappy at this!

I have no self-control!

I should just keep my mouth shut!

Here’s what our complaints give us: an excuse to not be happy.

If only this thing outside of myself would change… I could be happier. I could be more effective. I could enjoy my life more. I could be a better person, parent, teacher, friend.

Why would we want an excuse to not be happy? Because excuses let us off the hook. If there are no excuses, then it would be on us to be happy. It would be on us to be fulfilled. It would be on us to trust ourselves, to honor others, to create our own boundaries, to live with integrity.

It’s much easier to blame someone or something else.

We blame people. We blame systems. We blame society. We blame cultures. We blame our DNA. We blame our upbringing. We blame, we blame, we blame.

We’ve been warned about our self-righteousness in so many ways before, but the one that came to mind when I experienced this man in Walmart was the story of Adam and Eve…

God said something like this: "Don’t eat from that tree! The tree of the knowledge of good and evil is only for Divine Beings like me."

But Adam and Eve ate from the tree, and so they were kicked out of the Garden of Eden.

In each and every interaction between us and others or the world, we think we know what’s right and what’s wrong, so we condemn others and we condemn ourselves.

We condemn. We blame. We attack. We judge. We bully.

And this is how we create our own personal hell...

The truth is we are already in Eden. God never kicked us out. We’re still there.

Stop creating your personal hell and wake back up to Eden.

I'm not meaning to say, "Just stop complaining and be happy!!"

I have 100% compassion for each of us experiencing our own personal hell. Breaking free from my own personal hell is a daily exercise, and it's exactly what put me on this path of service to self and others.

And it takes something! The truth may be simple, but the path can be complicated and unclear.

It's to be expected that we create our personal hell. It's natural for us to do so. It's our inheritance as a human creature.

However, something else is possible, and it begins with our willingness to own that we are creating our own personal hell.

Start there.

Thanks so much for reading. 🙏❤️

P.S. As a transformational coach, I help people and organizations move beyond their self-imposed limitations to be their best and feel their best. If you’re interested in finding out how I can support you or your organization, reach out and let’s talk. 💌

Emotional Liberation

Do you ever have a lingering sense of sadness, fear, guilt, shame, or lack? I do.

Below are a few examples of a meditation technique I sometimes use to "cleanse" me of those feelings.

I put my hands on my heart, close my eyes, and say things along the lines of what I've shared below. While I do this, I cultivate a sense of compassion and love in my emotional center (my heart).

The objective isn't to make those feelings go away - the objective is to fall in love with those feelings. A fortunate outcome of falling in love with them, however, is that they also tend to go away, leaving love and compassion for self and others in their wake. ❤️

"I'm sorry": this is taking responsibility for ALL of it, 100%.

"Thank you": this is cultivating gratitude for ALL of it, 100%.

"I love you": this is creating, feeling, and spreading love for ALL of it, 100%.

To this fear:

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for blaming you for holding me back - it’s been me the whole time.

I’m sorry for resisting you, avoiding you, or reacting against you.

I’m sorry for seeing you as a problem.

I’m sorry for wanting you to be some other feeling.

I’m sorry for taking many decades to realize I could’ve loved you the whole time.

I’m sorry for not simply listening, then allowing you to run your course and dissipate at your own pace.

Thank you.

Thank you for being there for me.

Thank you for the opportunity to clear my mind, my heart, my being.

I love you.

To my family:

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for not listening to you as well as I know I could.

I’m sorry for reacting from frustration, annoyance, fear, or anger, instead of responding from Love.

I’m sorry for being selfish and wanting to put my own preferences first.

I’m sorry for not doing all I can to show up as I’ve promised I’d show up: extraordinarily loving, patient, and supportive.

I’m sorry for judging you.

I’m sorry for defending against you, as if I’ve ever needed to.

I’m sorry for my bad habits that you might pick up from me.

Thank you.

Thank you for showing up every day and loving me however I’ve shown up.

Thank you for your grace and patience as I grow to be the best husband, father, son, and brother I can be.

Thank you for the opportunity to clear my mind, heart, and being.

Thank you for reminding me what really matters to me.

I love you.

To the call of inspiration:

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for honoring my doubts and fears over the quiet clarity of your vision.

I’m sorry for selling out on you for my perceived sense of security.

I’m sorry for honoring my momentary desires over you.

I’m sorry for doubting your value.

I’m sorry for focusing on the do do do doing over the soft whisper of your wisdom.

Thank you.

Thank you for being a spark within me that never goes out.

Thank you for connecting me with the Universe and the Divine.

Thank you for the ever-present opportunity to be better.

I love you.

Thank you so much for engaging with my work. 🙏❤️

P.S. As a transformational life coach, I help people and organizations move beyond their self-imposed limitations to be their best and feel their best. If you’re interested in finding out how I can support you or your organization, reach out and let’s talk. 💌