Tell the Truth: The Holidays Aren't Stressful

Stress is a grown-up word for “Fear.”

Don’t say, “I’m stressed." Say, “I’m scared.”

Next time you feel stressed, ask yourself what you’re afraid of. What’s the insecure thought that’s driving your “stress”?

Is it that you’ll look bad? 

That people will judge you, laugh at you, or talk behind your back?

That you won’t show up how you’d like to show up?

That you won’t produce the result you’d like to produce?

That you’ll have wasted time?

That you’ll go unnoticed, unloved, or unwanted?

Stress is a reaction to that fear within.

Stress doesn't come from outside us - it's born right there within us.

As a fear that revs us up a bit, stress impacts the mind and the body.

Fueled by the energy of fear, the stressed mind thinks frenetically to prevent the feared outcome. The body and nervous system move into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode, hoping it can help too.

So we might listen to podcasts, read blogs 😬, and watch YouTube videos on techniques to not stress so much. Maybe take a bath, in candlelight, with a glass of wine.

But stress-management is only symptom-management - it doesn’t address the underlying fear at its Source.

Stress-management quells the beast temporarily, but it remains there within, a sleeping menace.

If we never address the underlying Source of our stress, it’ll keep showing up over and over and over and over again. The "enemy" with a thousand faces.

Don’t cope with any particular stress - heal the Source of stress (your relationship to insecure thinking and fearing) and make it last.

Self-care isn’t a one-off act to cope with - it’s a way of life. And it’s not self-focused, it’s Self-focused.

When you’re feeling stressed, ask yourself what you’re scared of. Often, simply asking ourselves this question and listening for the answer is enough to break free from the stress cycle.

When we see with our adult eyes how incredibly young nearly every one of our fears is, it often breaks the spell.

For those fears that seem to grip us more tightly, be with them. Witness them, observe them, give them room, and give them some softness. Like a scared dog that doesn’t understand what’s really going on when the thunder claps, these fears are a young part of us that’s hung around so long because we haven’t given it the reassurance that it craves.

Many of us live our lives scared of the results - the results we want and the results we’re afraid to get.

But the results aren’t ever up to us - they’ve never been. All that’s up to us is to let life be lived through us by honoring the spark of inspiration, love, and commitment that’s available in all moments.

So when you’re feeling stressed and you’ve uncovered the fear that’s driving it, ask yourself what you really want.

Chances are, you’re much more interested in an experience of authentic peace, love, and enjoyment - an experience far beyond the experience of merely looking good.

Stress is not inevitable. It's a practiced reaction to fear and insecurity that can be transformed.

Next time you’re feeling stressed, ask yourself what you’re scared of. Life, the Universe, God - has led you this far, and you’ll be taken care of this holiday season too.

Much Love. ❤️