This Is Controversial

Today I gave a talk at school for Earth Day. At the end, I said something controversial.

When most of us get a scratch on our arm, we don't have to worry whether it will heal or not. We don’t have to get stressed, anxious, or desperate for it to heal. We don’t have to coax it to heal.

Our arm will heal on its own - we simply need to foster its healing by creating healing conditions (keeping it clean, giving it air, avoiding poking it).

Similarly, if we stop polluting it and poking it, the environment will heal itself.

The controversial statement I said today:

If we live with integrity, in honor of our true values, the environment will handle itself.

In other words: Don’t worry about the environment. Live your most authentic life.

So many of us, individually and collectively, live lives in search of “someday” when we’ll finally get exactly what we’re looking for and then get to relax in well-being, happiness, and peace. 

Our values aren’t about “someday.” They’re about right now. 

Our values aren’t about what results we produce. They’re about how we’re being.

Our values aren’t about the surface-level at all. They touch us to the core.

Our values aren’t personal. They include ourselves, for sure, and they also include EVERYONE else (non-human life too).

If what we think are our values don’t meet those criteria, then we haven’t gone deep enough.

And it doesn’t take much to go deeper. There’s a simple question that helps us get there: “Why?”

“I value free time.” Why? 

“I value creativity.” Why?

“I value friendship and family.” Why?

“I value following the rules.” Why?

“I value feeling good.” Why?

Ask that question until you can't get any deeper. (It works.)

It's because our values include us and others that the environment will take care of itself once we live with integrity, in honor of our values. 

(Integrity is aligning all levels of our being - our body, mind, heart, behaviors, and relationships - with our values.) 

It’ll be a cleaner, healthier, freer world for all life as we do.

“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change...This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.” - Gandhi.

Thanks so much for reading. ❤️

Attack

His jaw literally dropped. He was speechless.

We were a few hours into last week’s Mind Mastery Experience, and this participant saw something he'd never seen before.

He wants friendships and community, but he wasn’t being real with people. His default behavior was exactly what was preventing him from getting what he wanted.

We want love in our marriages, but we continue to get defensive and blame the other.

We want collaboration in our workplaces, but we gossip and complain. 

We want health and well-being, but we binge junk food and media.

We want authentic relationships, but we people-please.

This part is obvious: our actions are often opposed to our values and work against them. 

Less obvious: our actions are opposed to our values because at some level we think they’ll help. (They don’t.)

When all is calm and quiet in the village, we sit around at ease, laughing, chatting, and eating. When the intruder alarm goes off, however, many of us feel a momentary vulnerability and fear that quickly transmutes into adrenaline-fueled defensiveness. We grab our swords and then rush to the village border and attack our intruders.

It’s one thing if our village is being attacked, it’s another thing if our spouse talks to us unkindly, our boss isn't being transparent, or we have a commitment that we don't feel like honoring. 

We justify our anger, our inauthenticity, and our habitual avoidance by speaking about them as defenses. But they’re more than defense. They’re offense. They're an attack. We're attacking others and we're attacking ourselves, subconsciously looking to inflict harm.

We attack our spouses. We attack our kids. We attack our neighbors. We attack our bodies and we attack our minds. And then we inaccurately justify it as self-defense.

Now, dear reader, you might be thinking, “Yes. I know that I’m the one preventing myself from getting what I’m looking for. This isn’t new!” If this is you, I have good news.

We've got a bad habit that keeps us stuck. It's a habit of mind and we can change it.

It's a habit of judging everything. This is one of the habitual behaviors that prevent you (and me) from getting what we really want. 

The mind has no will of its own. Judgments have no will of their own. We are the ones with a will to apply, and where we apply our will makes ALL the difference.

So let the judgment and analysis machine do its thing - and you do your thing. Intentionally. Compassionately. Forgivingly. Lovingly. Unconditionally.

If you want peace, cultivate peace. If you want love, cultivate love. If you want friends, cultivate friendship. And cultivate all those things in the mind, in the heart, and in the body. Then, cultivate them in your relationships too.

Let's stop lying to ourselves, and let's get real about what our actions are really aimed toward.

Then, let's realign our actions with what really matters to us.

Thanks so much for reading. ❤️

Beautiful and Rare

I just returned from a day-trip to Cleveland. I’ve been a fan of all things space related since I was a kid, and I committed 7 years ago to seeing the total solar eclipse today.

Last week on the radio, someone spoke about the eclipse and what a special opportunity it was to experience such a beautiful and rare phenomenon. There’s also been much talk in the news circles that I follow about the rarity and beauty of a solar eclipse.

And after I pulled up to my house that day, listening to that radio conversation, I stepped out into my driveway and looked at the sky.

Beautiful, gray, puffy clouds, the sunlight shining on different angles of them. Purple flowers in my grass and birds chirping from the trees. And I saw it again...

Each moment is indeed a perfect, rare, and profound opportunity to witness the beautiful and the sacred in the universe.

What if each moment could be seen as beautiful and rare? What if each interaction with another human being is as profound and beautiful an opportunity as a rare solar eclipse?

This isn’t just a philosophical inquiry. Those questions aren’t meant to be theoretical - they’re meant to be practical.

What would it take to bring presence, listening, and unconditional love and respect to EVERY person we interact with (including ourselves)?

Our relationships and interactions are often so transactional. What if it’s possible for them to be experienced as so much more than that?

What if it's possible to view each interaction with other people and even life itself as something sacred, profound, and beautiful?

Here's a more practical question:

Who would you have to be, who would you need to be, or how would you love to be in order to show up with the people in your life as if they are valuable, beautiful, and rare?

Because they are. Each of them.

I'm really really glad I spent 14 hours in the car today (lots of construction traffic) to witness the total eclipse in Cleveland. I'm also grateful that the sacred and the profound surround me ALL the time, and it's just a matter of willingness whether I see it or not.

Thanks so much for reading. ❤️

P.S. There are two ways you can support yourself by working with me: one-on-one coaching and hiring me to work with your team, group, or organization. Contact me when you're ready. 💌