What Does Amazing Take?

What would it take - from you - to live an amazing life?

The most important relationships in your life - what would it take from you for those relationships to be amazing?

Your job - what would it take from you for it to be an amazing job?

Your physical health…

Your mental health…

Your emotional heath…

Your spiritual health…

What would it take from you to elevate your health to an amazing level?

Are you waiting for someone else - or some other circumstances - to give you permission or access to living an amazing life? If you are, you’ll be waiting a while.

An amazing life isn’t a pipe dream. It isn’t for someone else more privileged or lucky than you. It isn’t for someone with the perfect parents, the richest resources, or a better body or brain.

An amazing life is for you and it’s for me.

An amazing life begins with our willingness. Our willingness to cause. Our willingness to source. Our willingness to be 100% responsible for amazing across the board.

Living an amazing life doesn’t mean we have all the answers. It simply means that we’re willing to look for them and remain empowered about it.

Whether our lives are amazing only depends on how we choose to show up - how we choose to be in the face of our circumstances, for the people in our lives, for the work and activities we’ve committed to.

You and I and everyone else are already amazing. We’ve just got barriers to our experience of it, and we’ve got barriers to our expression of it.

Move beyond your own barriers to your innate amazingness, and with new sight watch your world transform.

Thank you for engaging with my work. 🙏❤️

💌 As a transformational life coach, I help people live their best life by breaking through their limitations to feel amazing and create a life they love. If you’re interested in finding out how I can support you, reach out and let’s talk.

Cut Your Chains, Then Go Create

A client shared that he was feeling overwhelmed and anxious about his plans for the future with his family. He and his wife want to move into a better school district, and they also want a comfortable home that meets all their desires in a home.

This sounds like a perfect thing to plan for, right? So why the overwhelm and anxiety?

You see, each of us can get in touch with a wide open space of possibility. Possibilities for our relationships, for our work, for our family, for our home, for our fitness, for our enjoyment. Such options seem just over the horizon.

We can often more easily see possibilities for other people. You could just do this. She could just go there. You're so amazing at that!

This client knows he and his wife can create an amazing home and future for the family, but when overwhelm and anxiety are in the driver’s seat, he can’t move forward nearly as effectively or enjoyably as he’s able.

Behind our overwhelm and anxiety is always a single thought. This might seem impossible or improbable, and it might seem too simplistic, but it’s true.

So my client and I uncovered this thought sourcing his anxiety, and then we explored the full picture that gets played out when he’s feeling overwhelmed and anxious as a result of this thought.

His thought: “I’m gonna screw this up.”

Seems so simple and obvious, right? And what’s the big deal, don’t we all have this thought?!

This single thought was at the source of his overwhelm and anxiety, and it robbed him of his peace of mind, freedom, and love as a father.

When we do the work of creating a future without first uncovering our pre-existing limiting beliefs about ourselves, we usually end up in one of two places - either we give up and avoid the challenges of creating our dream, or we plow through and battle our way to victory. In other words, we either get resigned or we get exhausted.

There’s another way: get clear to be well, and then create.

My client found well-being (clarity, ease, and peace of mind) in our conversation because he saw that it wasn’t his circumstances that were overwhelming and anxiety-producing - it was his own thinking that was creating the overwhelm and anxiety. Once he had this insight and was able to relax into his innate well-being, he was filled with gratitude and love for his family and his life. He was empowered to move forward in a healthy and creative way to fulfill his commitments and feel great along the way.

This may sound obvious, but well-being is a state of being. We all have access to well-being right now without changing a thing. In fact, the most powerful access to well-being is getting that there’s not a thing we need to change in order to be well.

As my client said in the conversation: “I had shackled myself to that thinking and that feeling.” When he cut loose the chain, he was freed up to be well, enjoy and love his life, and move forward creatively and effectively.

What did he create in that new opening and space of well-being? He created peace, freedom, enjoyment, and love with his family.

So, dear reader, be well and then go create.

Thanks so much for engaging with my work. 🙏❤️

💌 As a transformational life coach, I help people live their best life by breaking through their limitations to feel amazing and create a life they love. If you’re interested in finding out how I can support you, reach out and let’s talk.

Our Pettiness Is Two-Way (So Is Our Love)

She had an insight that blew her mind.

It was in a recent workshop on How to Resolve Any Complaint. She shared that an area of her life where she had been struggling was in her relationship with her son-in-law. Her complaint: "He shouldn’t treat his wife like that."

She had really great reasons for her complaint. She was justified in her complaint.

We all always feel justified in our perspectives. We then take it one step further and our perspectives become justifications and conditions for who we are being in our lives.

We can be guarded, defensive, and resistant - and have solid reasons for it.

We can be judgmental, arrogant, and angry - and have solid reasons for it.

We can be close-hearted, cynical, and resigned - and have solid reasons for it.

Here’s what the workshop participant realized about her relationship with her son-in-law: she was being judgmental, defensive, and righteous, all the while blaming him for how she was being.

We have so many reasons and excuses for how we’re showing up in life. It's convenient that it’s always due to something out of our control - some external circumstance, some other person, or some fundamental flaw in us.

It’s convenient because it puts the responsibility of who we are being on someone or something other than ourselves.

What this workshop participant saw was that while she was complaining that “he shouldn’t treat his wife like that,” she was treating him poorly! She was judging him. She was criticizing him. She was withholding her love and kindness.

She was limiting her own experience of love, support, and compassion with her own judgmental way of being. She was also limiting her ability to positively impact him and contribute to his life.

In other words: she was drinking a poison and hoping his behavior would improve.

When we adamantly stick to our perspective of the way things are, we hurt not only the other person - we hurt ourselves.

As long as she blamed him for the relationship, she was also treating herself poorly - she set herself up as a victim, she had a small view of her daughter’s ability to stand up for herself, she kept her own love locked up inside.

Our pettiness is two-way. We put on a petty way of being, and we hope that it changes someone else. Meanwhile, we’re stuck with a petty way of being! We do this to ourselves.

💥 When I’m judging my wife as being unkind to me, I’m being unkind to her.

💥 When I withhold my love from my wife or my kids out of some defensiveness or self-righteousness, I lose the experience of love.

💥 When I’m critical of colleagues or friends, I’m cultivating self-criticism too.

Our pettiness is two-way. Our judgmentalism is two-way. Our cynicism is two-way. We sell out on others, and in that very act we are also selling out our own experience of life.

That’s the bad news. The good news is that all the good stuff is two-way also…

❤️ Love is two-way - when I love others, I experience love.

❤️ Kindness is two-way - when I’m kind to another, I experience that kindness.

❤️ Generosity is two-way - when I’m generous with another, I experience the fullness of that generosity.

We humans are complex creatures, but our experience of life is quite simple: who we are being determines the quality of our actions, the quality of our relationships, and the quality of our life. Start with who you are being, and everything else follows.

Being petty gives us a petty life. Being judgmental gives us a bunch of judgments. Instead, try on some of these alternative ways of being with the people in your life and with yourself - unconditionally:

Creative

Compassionate

Generous

Loving

Kind

Interested

Forgiving

Patient

Engaged

Enlivened

Vital

Peaceful

Excited

Committed

Passionate

Powerful

Gentle

Curious

Courageous

Empowered

Inspired

Open-minded

Collaborative

etc...

Thank you for engaging with my work. I’m honored. 🙏❤️

💌 As a transformational life coach, I help people live their best life by breaking through their limitations to feel amazing and create a life they love. If you’re interested in finding out how I can support you, reach out and let’s talk.