The Foundational and Not-So-Obvious Question

When caught in worried thinking…

When stuck in fear…

When circling in a loop of judgment or frustration or anger…

When struggling to articulate yourself...

What do you want?

It’s a simple, foundational question that occurs as obvious only after it’s been asked.

In your job…

In your relationship…

In your routines…

What do you want want?

Many (most? all?) of our behaviors and reactions are unconscious, default behaviors and reactions. This question - What do you want? - brings the Self a bit more present, and it invites us to think and make a choice.

Do you even know what you really want? 

Many of us don’t, and that’s okay. But this question is foundational. If we live life not asking it of ourselves (or not being asked by someone who’s really interested in the answer), we may find we’ve lived a life we didn’t really want but never felt like we had a choice. 

So here’s your opportunity: what do you really want?

What do you want for yourself as a consistent and reliable feeling in your life?

What do you want for the people you care about?

Sometimes when I ask this question, “What do you really want?”, people will tell me what they don’t want. That’s a great place to start, but it doesn’t answer the question!

Answer that question! What do you really want? Don’t worry about the why or the how yet. Just hang with the what of it.

I was just walking the dog and processing some anxiety that subtly arose within me like a nighttime fog. The default for me is to figure out how NOT to feel that way.

What I want, though, is something else entirely: it’s to unconditionally love this miraculous gift of experiencing life - including fear and anxiety. So instead of resisting the anxiety/fear, I welcomed it in as an opportunity to practice unconditional love. That’s what I really wanted, and it turned my resistance into curiosity and wonder. 

I’ve begun a practice of asking myself each morning, “What do I truly want?” For me, it’s a practice in allowing authentic, inspired desire to grow within me. As I’ve become more willing to sit with the question and allow my mind to go where it wants in answering the question, I’ve awakened to some powerful insights. 

You there, reader! Ask yourself this question: “What do you want?”

Then go a little deeper and ask yourself this one: “What do you really want?”

Much Love. ❤️