If You're Not Outraged...

“You should be upset!”

“You should be ashamed.”

“You should be happy!”

Have you ever heard or said any of those?

A friend of mine in high school used to say, “If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.”

No, my friend, that’s not true. 

We live as if certain situations and circumstances require us to feel a certain way.

They don’t.

We are not required to feel any particular way about anything.

Getting this is what it is to get free.

A country gets bombed, a politician says something controversial, your spouse speaks with a frustrated tone, your students don’t follow your instructions, and WHAM - "Of course you would feel upset!"

Little kids take cues and learn from the adults, peers, and bigger kids in their lives.

We inherited our reactive behaviors, and we think they’re our authentic self. 

They’re not. 

We think that our reactions witness the truth about reality and ourselves. 

They don't.

Ask yourself this question next time you’re feeling reactive: What’s the age of this reactive behavior? 4, 7, 11, 13? (It’s highly unlikely that it’s older than a teen.)

A reaction is an internal, trained mechanism, an “unconscious behavior in which our energy is directed outward into the world in an attempt to defend ourselves or attack another. The theme of all reactive behavior is blame and revenge.” (The Presence Process.)

Your reactions aren’t you. They're a defensive, protective part of you that turns on when faced with a perceived threat.

In fact, if we start paying attention when we’re reactive, we’ll likely see that we’ve allowed ourselves to be taken over by an attack emotion that we justify with “noble,” self-righteous, and protective ideas. 

We use our reactive emotions to either protect ourselves or protect others, and we leave casualties in our wake when we choose to live from those fiery emotions. 

Yes, of course our reactions have a healthy role, but 99.9% of the time we're misusing them.

I fully stand for a safe, enjoyable, and fulfilling world for all of us. I’m standing with all the enjoyment, wonder, and appreciation with which I am committed to experiencing my life. 

And I want us all to know and live from the truth that we are never actually constrained to feel any specific way, no matter how the world and its people are showing up to us. 

We don’t need to be outraged to prove that we're paying attention.

We don’t have get angry to show that we’re hurt.

We don’t have to hate to prove that we love.

We can all learn to live more powerfully and more consistently with what we really want for ourselves and others.

What is it, above all else, that you truly want for yourself and others?

That question is an access to power, and it’s a gateway to a life beyond living in reaction to our circumstances.

Much Love. ❤️