Feeding Our Hungry Ghosts

My client shared that she had an argument with family over a game. It was a quick statement she made while checking in, yet we spent nearly an hour exploring it.

"You see," I said to her, "this conversation isn't about the game argument at all. It's about the forces within you deciding how you're showing up in life."

Me: “How were you being in that argument with your family?”

Her: “Aggressive. Stubborn.”

Those are hungry ghosts of insecurity and fear, showing up with a voracious energy to win, avoid looking bad, be right, and feel victorious.

Our hungry ghosts devour our well-being, ignore our integrity and authenticity, and eat away at our relationships (leaving wounded souls in our wake).

"What good is winning," she said, "if I don't have people there to enjoy it with me because I've pushed them away with my aggression?"

Here are two myths about 95% of the emotional reactions we experience in our day-to-day life:

1. We think the source of the reaction is out there with our circumstances.

2. We think that our reaction will get us closer to what we want.

There’s a very simple exercise to prove that those beliefs are myths. 

First, think of a time when you’ve been happy, now feel that happiness. (Really, do this right now.) Then, think of a time when you’ve been sad, now feel that sadness. Those feelings right now aren't coming from the circumstance - they're coming from within you.

The energy of our emotions is ALWAYS coming from within us. We’re not plugged into our circumstances with an energetic wire like a wall that might give us a voltage surge. Our emotional reactions are always sourced within us. (Yes, our environments certainly have an impact, but that conversation isn't very helpful until we grasp our own responsibility in the matter.)

Second, think back to any number of your previous emotional reactions. Did reacting get you what you really want? Sure, it sometimes got you what you think you wanted, but the angry outburst, the contempt, the frustration - did it work?

When we get upset, we think the source of the upset is the circumstance out there. It’s not. In fact, our emotional reactions point to hungry ghosts within us looking to be satisfied by blaming our circumstances. 

Hungry ghosts - emotional remnants of childhood, living incomplete within us, reaching up through us to devour those we see as unfair, wrong, and scary. 

These hungry ghosts will continue to haunt our hearts with a life of reactivity until we give them what they're really looking for and put them gently to rest. 

They're looking for peace, safety, security, and love - yes from others, but mostly from us ourselves, and that is deep, magical, and spiritual work.

"I often refer to Mick as my 'love myself' coach. Working with him, I've found this to be the most powerful ingredient in achieving anything that I am truly wanting."

- Client ❤️ from Erin S.

Much love. ❤️