We Aren’t the Only Ones

In a conversation with me a few months back, a client realized that for over 5 decades she'd had a view of men that they don't listen to her.

I'm sure she's right sometimes, but what she saw in our conversation was that her view that men don't listen impacts her physically and emotionally, and it's an experience stuck within her that comes from when she was younger than 5.

What most of us can fairly easily see is that the stories we have about ourselves, others, and the world often limit how we get to show up in our lives.

It can limit how we feel. It can limit what we do. It can limit who we are.

What we often don't see, though, is that we aren't alone in experiencing the effects of our views and thoughts!

If I live inside the perspective that men don't listen to me, then I'm not ever really going to listen to them either! I'm right about how they are. I'm right about how they treat me. I'm right about my own smallness in relationship with them.

And our righteousness - about others, ourselves, and the world - blinds us to the humanity in another, and it blinds us to our own capability to thrive in ALL relationships, regardless of whether they listen to us or not.

It doesn't just impact us and how we feel and who we get to be.

It limits others too.

Something else is possible, and it starts with each of us (especially those of us who think it needs to start with someone else).

No, we aren't alone in experiencing the effects of our views of ourselves, others, and the world. Perhaps remembering this will give us more energy to transform our views when they're not working for us or others.

Don't know how to do that powerfully? Reach out and let's talk.

Hot tip that I've been noticing lately: whenever we make another person wrong, we're seeing ourselves as a victim. Seeing ourselves as a victim isn't a very empowering self-concept.

Much Love. ❤️