The Outcome of Magic

A client came to me with a problem. He's a performer, and a colleague of his has been distracting him in his work. My client was feeling frustrated.

Such a simple-sounding problem, right? But there were actually (at least) three issues underlying my client’s challenge:

1. His discomfort in engaging with his colleague about it.

2. His attempts to bypass the issue by dealing with it solely internally.

3. His lack of clarity about his intentions and what he really wanted.

So where did we start? That doesn’t matter. Here’s where we got:

At some point in the conversation, I asked him, “How would you love to show up when this happens again?”

(Write that question down. It's a good one.)

And he was quiet for almost a minute. Then, “I don't know,” he said.

We mostly live our lives in reaction to our circumstances and situations. This isn’t it, and we focus on that. But if This isn’t it, what is?

Many of us, each day, write out our TO DO lists. But what about that most important list of all, our TO BE list?

I am having a final coaching conversation tonight with a client of over 3 years. In that time together, he has created extraordinary results in his experience of life and in his effectiveness as a father, husband, friend, and colleague.

One call, years ago, he shared with me how tough it was to get up and handle his responsibilities. It began with his dog waking him up, and him thinking that he didn’t want to deal with that.

Through the magic we do in our conversations, he opened to insight and inspiration and created for himself, “I awake each day with joy and gratitude.”

He trained himself so that the first thought he had upon waking up was that: "I awake each day with joy and gratitude." Then his mind got to work finding things to be grateful for, opening up to the joy of being alive. 

That was the beginning of his TO BE list! What better way to start our day than to intentionally remind ourselves - and create within ourselves and in our actions - how we're committed to showing up?

Since then, this client has created an extraordinary TO BE list. He has an alarm that goes off every hour to remind him to recite it and ground himself in it. He looks for ways to express those ways of being in his life. He says them out loud to his kids. And he reflects upon his day in the context of that list.

How would you love to show up in life?! Not “what needs to change for me to be problem-free.”

How would you love to show up? With that person or that other person? In that task or that job? In your morning, your lunch break, your evening?

Answer that question in all areas of life that are important to you. Start there. Then, all there is to do is live with integrity, in alignment with what you’re committed to, not what your mind judges in the moment. 

Much Love, and thank you for reading my work. ❤️

(100% human-made)