The Mind Isn’t Designed to Solve This Problem

Stress, worry, and anxiety. They’re all expressions of fear.

(Next time you’re feeling stressed, instead of saying, “I’m stressed,” try saying, “I’m feeling scared.”)

When the mind steps into the hamster wheel of stressed, worried, or anxious thinking, it’s trying to solve a problem it isn’t designed to solve. 

The heart (emotional body) says: “There’s a problem!”

The mind says: “I’m on it!”

Many of us look in the wrong direction to ease our troubled minds. We either look outside ourselves ("I can't be at peace until that circumstance changes") or we blame and judge our worried minds for our discomfort. 

We wish it would stop thinking sometimes! 

The mind, however, is there to support us. In its brilliance and creativity, it looks and searches and digs, looks and searches and digs, looks and searches and digs…but it doesn’t lead us anywhere new when we’re in a worry or anxiety loop.

Here’s what I do, and like most meaningful inner “work,” it takes consistency and unconditional presence to master it:

First, I thank the mind. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for looking out for me. Thank you for trying to solve this one. Thank you for the gift you are that I often fail to notice. Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for trying to help. Thank you, thank you.”

Then, I remind my mind of this truth that is nearly always true, but it and my heart forget: “I am safe. There is nothing I need to fear. There’s nothing I need to figure out. There’s nothing I need to protect. I am safe.”

Third, I let it know, “I’ve got this. I can handle this. Thank you for helping, and I can take it from here. You can keep worrying if you’d like, but it’s not actually helping. I’ve got everything I need, and you can take a break.”

Fourth, if there's inner receptivity to this question, I ask it: “If you weren't playing this stressed/anxious/worried role, what role would you want to play?” This question is incredibly powerful when asked at the right time.

That’s a way I engage with my mind during worried, stressful, or anxious times.

This part is important too: the fearful mind doesn’t generate its own energy - it’s getting energized by a fearful heart.

As the mind quiets, the deeper “work” can truly get under way in earnest: being loving towards the troubled heart.

We’ve grown up thinking that our way out of trouble is better thinking, but thinking alone can’t resolve these troubles of the heart.

This does: unconditionally feeling it.

Not indulging in it.

Not wallowing in it.

Not getting warped up about it.

Listening to it, giving it room, welcoming it up, and letting it know I’m there for it, no matter what. 

I’m sorry for pushing you away.

I’m sorry for being scared of you.

I’m sorry for not learning sooner how to support you.

Thank you for looking out for me.

Thank you for the gift you are, even when I don’t see it.

I’ve got room for you. You are welcome here. I love you.

Much Love. ❤️