Sympathy Is the Booby Prize

Booby Prize: “a prize given as a joke to the last-place finisher in a race or competition.”

What I’m writing here is not the truth - it’s a possibility. If it resonates, use it. If it doesn’t, ignore it.

Sympathy is a connector between humans. It can be powerful and healing. 

However, we often seek sympathy as an end in itself, and this usually doesn’t serve us or what we’re committed to.

When we’re being a victim to life, we’re seeking sympathy as a end. Many of us do this in conversations about: 

• politics

• the weather 

• our past experiences or decisions

• other people’s attitudes

• our boss

• our schedule

• our health

• our emotions

• our thinking, stories, and judgments

Being a victim to life might win us sympathy, but it doesn’t win us a great life.

Sympathy is the booby prize. 

I had a conversation with a student a few years back. He was sharing how he just can’t honor the diet and routine he set up for himself. 

I said to him, “I’m not saying that you should honor the diet and routine. I’m just asking you to tell yourself the truth about it: it’s not that you can’t do it, it’s that you won’t.”

He got a bit annoyed with me. I wasn't giving him the sympathy that he was looking for. Instead, I was honoring his powerful possibility of being healthy.

The next day in school, however, he was in a completely different state of mind and being from our conversation. He got it - the distinction between:

“Communicating to get sympathy” vs. “Communicating to create meaningful impact”

“Being a victim of circumstance” vs. “Being an owner of the spirit”

“Being a spectator complaining from the stands” vs. “Being on the court making a difference”

“Being at the effect” vs. “Being at cause in the matter”

“Life is happening to me” vs. “Life is happening for me”

Throughout the Mind Mastery Experience, we keep a running list of “Victim Language” vs. “Owner Language.” It’s amazing how much of our thinking and speaking is from being a victim, and how empowering it is just to speak accurately as an owner.

And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with living from victim language! It’s simply selling ourselves short and giving up the possibility of living our best life for the booby prize of sympathy.

Much Love. ❤️