Breaking the Magic Spell of Reactivity

My gosh I was fuming inside! So frustrated. So full of mean energy. So hateful!

Then by Grace, the lesson came to me:

Speak for that frustration, not from it.

This is a practice in a powerful therapeutic process I’ve been mastering called Internal Family Systems. It’s incredible work.

It’s not that I was frustrated and hateful. A part of me was frustrated and hateful. 

So I jotted some notes: here’s what it sounds like to speak from that energy, here’s what that frustrated part of me wants to express. 

Then, I spoke for that part. “A part of me feels… A part of me thinks… A part of me is committed to… A part of me is trying to…”

And the magic spell of reactivity was broken. 

That frustrated part was still there, but it was no longer in charge. I was back in charge.

I gave it room. I gave it a listening ear. And I chose what words would come out of my mouth and what energy would be expressed through my being. 

That’s the source of all healing and transformation for us humans, by the way: we are innately whole, healthy, and capable. We sometimes simply abdicate our sovereignty to these loud parts within us.

Even when this frustrated part was burning hot, another part of me was patient and understanding. Another part of me was loving and appreciative. Another part of me was in perfect peace.

Accessing those other parts of ourselves becomes much easier when we speak for our parts and not from them. This puts the powerful and elemental I, the true self, back into the driver’s seat of our experience. 

No one is worthy of my judgment, and everyone is worthy of my love, including all parts of myself. I have room for all parts of myself, and they’re all welcome - they’re just not allowed to drive.

Much Love. ❤️