You probably know the story of the blind men and the elephant...
A strange animal, an elephant, is brought to town. A group of blind people go to the animal to figure out what it’s like.
One of them feels the elephant’s tail and says, “An elephant is like a rope!”
Another feels the elephant’s leg and says, “No, an elephant is like a tree!”
A third feels the elephant’s trunk and adds, “Whoa! An elephant is like a snake!”
This story is around 4,000 years old and has shown up in multiple cultures. Why??
Because we ALL live as if we’re the ones who see things as they really are.
You see it all objectively, exactly as it is, don’t you?!?!
Of course you do! So do I. ALL of us live as if what we’re seeing is the way it is.
This weather is bad! My boss is a beast! This really isn’t fair! I’m angry but it is justified!
And so it goes through our lives. We befriend the people who see things (or at least pretend to) the way we do. We divorce those people who can't see it any way but their own.
We see it the right way, and we're certain about it (at least in the moment, how we're being about it.)
Where there is certainty, there is no possibility.
And we use our certainty to let ourselves off the hook.
It’s my wife’s fault, so there’s no way I can be more loving.
It’s covid’s impact on young people, so there’s nothing I can do about student behavior in the classroom.
It’s poor leadership, so there’s nothing I can do except watch the ship sink.
I had a shitty childhood, so there’s nothing I can do about my own happiness.
I used to speak one of my daily self-creation statements like this:
"I am a leader in the transformation of humanity. I am creating a world that works for all life."
And while, to me, that’s a powerful statement, I realized that I am in no way creating such a world on my own. Instead, I’m co-creating it with others - always.
Every conversation and every interaction is a co-creation. I'm seeing a version of you in my mind, you're seeing a version of me, and together we're creating a version of something between us. And we each see each other and that thing between us a little differently.
Whether we like it or not, we’re in this together. When we start acting like it with integrity and compassion, we’ll give each other a lot more grace than we currently do. And with grace, space, respect, and honor we’ll really get moving somewhere together.
“I am co-creating a world that works for all life.” This is a daily reminder to let loose my grip on how I see things and be willing to give others more room.
Anything can be created in language, and anything can be cleaned up in language. It begins with the willingness to see more than the default perspective we walk around with.
Thanks so much for reading. ❤️