Breaking Through Insecurities
My fundamental insecurity in life is that "I'm not enough."
Not man enough, father enough, husband enough, teacher, friend, sibling, son enough. I'm not good enough, smart enough, attractive, funny, fun, or nice enough. I'm not wise, insightful, present, compassionate, or engaged enough.
Left up to my default thinking and behaviors, I'm just not good enough - and so I'm kinda doomed to failure. Why even try...
But 17 years ago in a weekend workshop, I saw that core insecurity, that core fear, for what it was - a story that 4-year-old me made up and believed. And I got free.
Free to live full-out, love full-out, create full-out, and enjoy life as much as I did when I was a kid. Free to allow ease, peace, and passion into my experience no matter what.
It’s magical. It’s powerful. And it’s so freaking enlivening.
Here are three powerful exercises, and I promise you they're worth trying out:
1. Find out how people you trust see you, and trust them. Our insecurities really seem real to us...so real. So ask someone else to describe you. Start building a new perspective of yourself, one that more closely matches reality than the story you’ve been telling yourself for years. Ask your friends, ask your family, ask yourself even:
What am I great at?
What do you love about me?
What is special about me?
What should I be proud of?
2. Start expressing those insecurities for what they are - thoughts. Write them out, and for each one you write down, really get that it’s just a judgment about yourself. Our insecurities are just self-judgments. Yes there’s sometimes a lot of emotion (usually fear) tied to our insecurities, but our insecurities are just thoughts - literally nothing else. There’s a world of a story wrapped around our insecurities - YEARS of justifications and proof. Yet they remain just judgments in the present, thoughts we aim and fire at ourselves.
3. Act anyway. I know, this sounds so cliché. But our insecurities are phantoms from our past, decisions from former versions of ourselves, judgments made by children and adolescent me and you. Acting in the face of our insecurities helps us build evidence and confidence that the insecurities are indeed bull crap.
I still trip, stumble, and wobble sometimes, and that's exactly why I have support systems in life to help me live my best life - I've got a coach and I’ve got daily practices and routines to help me continue to thrive in life.
Thriving and being unconditionally in love with life: that's what living full out means to me.
And the access to it? Getting that my insecurities are just some persistent thoughts I use to play life safe.
What becomes possible for you when your insecurities fizzle away?
Thanks so much for reading. ❤️
P.S. If you'd like support along your journey - to love, feel, give, act, create, and experience life more freely and powerfully - schedule a free exploration Zoom call with me. Through transforming my fundamental insecurity, I've become a phenomenal coach - let me support you.